I’ve been away for a long weekend but not before I went for a full bone scan on Thursday. It was one of those where I got filled with radioactive marker and then had to amuse myself for two hours before slipping into the magic magnetic tube to be scanned. I read I Am Legend which is truly excellent. My scan did not take long, or at least it did not see long but I suspect I might have napped for a while. My evening was all about packing and getting ready to drive to the Forest of Dean on Friday to see my youngest daughter who is growing a new grandson and to see my youngest grand child.

Friday was all about driving. Elsie is still a bit of a mystery at times but in general I think I have mastered most of the tech and where to find the right buttons to push. I am still disconcerted by the fact that it will show me a mileage and that it will increase once I get under way. There is a sweet speed that gives me the best miles per gallon which is most easily achieved on a long run. So once loaded up I drive to our destination with just one stop. I managed to do the drive without resorting to wine gums or Red Bull. Once arrived we got to meet the youngest grandchild who now has a much bigger vocabulary and an ability to pick up new ones at a swift pace. It also turns out that he is a great fan of Cherry Bomb by the Runaways. He has moved on from Timmy Trumpet and all the usual children’s songs, not to mention tunes from children’s TV programmes.

So by the end of the weekend we were all good at the Cherry Bomb dance led by the young man. It seems he has left Timmy Trumpet behind. Of course there were photo opportunities of him looking very cute, whether it was of home tucked up under my arm watching the Gruffalo with, sitting on a huge polar bear or making sure he got his share of hot chocolate. As he gets older I get increasingly wary of putting his picture up on the web, I’m not quite sure if this is an over reaction or not. I suspect in years to come he will be using social media as a matter of course but I do not feel comfortable putting him there now. Its one thing to share pictures with family and friends but the web is, I think, very different. Those of you who know me will of course know you can get pictures via the family WhatsApp group. One other gain from the weekend was the chance to increase the collection of Christmas tree ornaments. I like glass droplets so I bought two sets for this years tree.

So Monday arrives and its time to have breakfast and leave for home. With on last family dance to Cherry Bomb I load the car and drive my partner and I home in time to receive the Tesco delivery. My partner readies herself for her singing lesson tonight and my eldest daughter is off out to her art class, which leaves me to unpack and pick a film of my choice. All of this time is ordinary family stuff, which of course is far from ordinary.

This is a week that will seem me have a set of bloods before my next oncology review. The new scans are behind me now so it will all come together on Wednesday the 12th. The logic is of course in the arithmetic and overarching it all is the PSA score. I would be happy to continue with the steroids if the PSA is stable but if it is not the oncology boys and girls will want to test radio therapy on me and that I am not sure about. If I was not suitable some months back because of the risk of doing me more damage I am not sure the logic could support reversing that decision. So I have a sense that I may have to argue my corner. The last bone scan showed that my metastasis in my back and lymph had gone, I am hoping his bone scan confirms this. The CT scan of the soft tissue of my thorax and abdomen is the critical one as it should show the actual state of my prostate. I think this is the key. Either the cancer in my prostate is “contained” or its better or worse and this is the answer I need on the 12th. I do not want to hear what the oncology team have decided I want proper consultation and the evidence given to me so that I can make any decision that might be necessary. I guess this is why I am feeling fatigued and restless at the moment. All I can do is train tomorrow, keep active and keep recording my vitals and staying calm but focused.