Wednesday and I wake up to find my partner was readying herself to visit her mother. I have a hot water, take my vitals and get into my training kit. I have a muesli and yoghurt breakfast which I mix meds into and then have a brief rest before going to the garage and the rowing machine. I really did not feel like training but its been four days since my last session and I need to keep the chemo side effects at bay. My choice is a 45 minute session as I need PAI points. Right from the start I know I am in trouble, every stroke is an effort, for what ever reason my body is reluctant. This session is a grind from beginning to end and I am relieved that I at least get over 8 kilometres. Its a below par session.

I shower and emerge just before my partner returns and makes us lunch sandwiches. There is time for a quick rest before we go and get our nails done at the gym beautician. I have my usual subtle sparkles but today I add a Halloween ghost to one of my nails. I wait for my partner in the gym lounge and jot a couple of things.

465
Its with a dash of steroids
that I enter a new realm
of battle.
The fear of a football head 
and still bigger gut
has lead me to eschew
all the sweets and goodies
of comfort and rebellion.
The last jelly baby has gone,
the biscuit barrel empty
it's time for discipline;
that act of Will 
that says "I fight".
Once again the iron 
inside has to be found
and from it caste resolve, 
I will live to see
my unborn grandchild.

                                                        465 01-10-2025.

When my partner is finished we drive home to rest before dinner. I watch some football while I draft the blog. There is more House of Guinness for the evening and finally meds and bed. My body has no idea what is happening to it and I am not sure my mind is far behind it at the moment.