Sunday and I wake to the sound of the household preparing breakfast. On joining them I take my morning meds and eat. With breakfast over there is a critical time slot to get everything packed up for my daughters family return home. Newly fed toddler and baby are travel ready and secured in the car and are soon being waved off into the distance. Its been a really good weekend seeing the family and of course the new grandson for the first time.

In the afternoon I watch a rugby match and the final of the winter Olympics ice hockey. I am aware that as the day goes on I feel more and more fatigued and not well. In an effort to pull myself together before going to the theatre I have a shower and during this realise I am in no fit state to go out. The upshot is I do not go out and instead watch TV for a while until tiredness overtakes me. I go to bed early feeling like I do when I react to my 28 day injection, cold, shivery and unable to sleep. Despite feeling tired and craving sleep I am unable to and wake up every two hours at least until the morning arrives.

Monday morning and I get myself up after an appalling night. I get myself down stairs where my partner brings me hot water and toast. I take my morning meds and try to get going. I still feel very fatigued and in the end I take paracetamol to see if it helps. While I wait for the paracetamol to kick in I draft the blog and run through my “to do” checklist in my head. Today is a hospital bloods day so I have to be alright to get to the GP for 1:50pm to get them done. Tesco will deliver this afternoon and I need to read the meters, after that I can rest again. This is not my best time. I spend a bit of time on a poem, which reflects where I am at the moment.

500
It should be a celebration,
it ought to be all the times
I could have told you 
I loved you.
It could have been
all the omitted moments
of kindness and adoration.
All the missed opportunities
to be open and transparent
neatly arrayed here
in a declaration of how
I felt and feel.  
Instead I hesitate
not knowing how I am. 
I know that 500 can come at anytime 
but arriving now 
seems cruel 
as my being is 
not at its best.
I cannot do it justice
and that’s the issue,
this version of me 
is not one I like.
I must try again. 

				500 23-02-2026

I make the GP appointment for my bloods, but I drive the two minutes to the surgery, I had no confidence that I could walk it. My partner had gone to the gym so it was down to me to get there and car seemed the best. My usual 28 day jab nurse took my bloods today, but yet again my reliable left arm vein was reluctant to give up my blood. The nurse finally manged to squeezed the required two vials out of me and sent mem on my way having booked the time for my 28 day jab on March the 2nd. Once home I watch a below par film until my partner returns and Tesco make our delivery. I continue to eat simply and to try and settle my digestive system, whilst topping up the energy levels with Lucozade. My evening is quiet and I go to bed early having taken my night meds. I am hoping for a better nights sleep.