Tuesday and I am awake and on the brink of getting up by 8:30 am. I read some John Berryman but I full asleep again and find myself waking a second time at about 10:30. I am bemused and not sure why this has happened. I jot down a poem and then my partner brings me a hot water as I am about to head for the kitchen.

499
Alone.
Reading Berryman
in bed.
All cyclothymia ,
depression and tangents.
A third person
chronicle to ice
and death.
It’s dated and done.
Alone.
Writing Berryman
In bed.
Difficult to know
 which is sadder,
but this Mr Bones
will be taken
and not thrown 
away.

					499  17-02-2026

I make a large bowl of egg noodles and take my morning meds with them. The Winter Olympics are of course on the TV, fortunately for me its ice hockey that is on. After a while I shift myself and get out into the garden. There is a mop bucket to be emptied and put away before I can retrieve the bags of bird seed and suet balls that I have in the boot of the car. Once in a while I buy something that turns out to be a real boon to my life. My sack barrow is one such item, it makes my life so much easier as I now move anything of any weight using it. Moving pots around the garden is now a doddle and moving things from the boot of the car to the garden shed is now a simple task. Its like the sturdy hand grip I put in over the bath to steady my progress into the shower, my life is now so much easier. I replenish the suet ball feeder for the birds. The basket that holds the feeding balls is wicker and woven by a friend for me as a Christmas present. The birds love it but they keep taking little bits of the cane weaving for their nests. With my garden tasks complete I return to the comfort of the sofa for a refreshing drink and a start on drafting the blog.

The rest of my day and evening consisted of food, rest, ice hockey, rest, a film, rest and finally meds and bed. Today has been a day of little energy and little motivation so all I can do is give it another go tomorrow.