Wednesday and its oncology review day and its face to face. So I get up slowly and have a shower before having toast, orange juice and morning meds. I choose to wear a light weight suit given this is the warmest day of the year so far. To my surprise it fits well so I feel okay and ready to front the oncologist and what he might have to say or show me. This session is face to face so that he can share my recent scan results so I feel the need to be respectable and not a trainers and T shirt overwhelmed patient. I think it turns out quite well.
My partner and I get an Uber to the hospital and settle in at the waiting room. A couple who we meet on chemo Fridays. We chat for a while and eat a quick cheese sandwich before I get called in. The consultant explains that he has a new techno gizzmo thing that writes his letters for him. He tees it up and we are off. He asks how I am and I tell him I am tired/fatigued. He suggests that he reduces the dose of my chemo, tells me I won’t make ten cycles and that he might discontinue the chemo rechallenge. I’m not impressed, I do understand that dosage is based on toxicity not amount. In my head its no different from Keith Richards only taking medical grad heroine and not increasing the amount as he understood that taking more heroine would not change the effect.
We move onto the scan results. The oncologist shows me the scan and explains the orientation. Apparently there has been no change, no spread, and I am told its al good. All good that is apart from still having cancer in my prostate and the back wall of my bladder at the base. So its all the same, I’m holding my own, my PSA is going down. So here I am where I was seven years ago, in the same battle with less strength and stamina. The session comes to an end with me insisting on Cycle 6 being the same dosage. The oncologist says accept a lower dosage next time. He then says I have to have a set of bloods today as my last lot were too far back, a week. So I take the blood form to the bloods room and wave it at the blood sucker. He takes my blood and I note that PSA is not on the bloods form. It makes me wonder if PSA is that important, the oncologist clearly isn’t that interested.
Blood taking over my partner and I leave. There is a good fruit stall outside the oncology unit and we buy two large packs of strawberries for a fiver. We order an Uber from the hotel and travel quietly home.
Once home I am out of the suit and into something casual and into the garden to decompress. After a drink I set about sowing the purple sunflower seeds I’ve been waiting to get going. After some time I have a tray of individual fibre pots each bearing a single sunflower seed. I pop them into one of the covered raised beds and retreat to the sofa t start drafting the blog. Tea follows accompanied by some of the hospital strawberries. And with that I sink into the evening watching the Slow Horses series. I now have a new set of bloods to wait for, so the evening will draw to an end later on.
