Friday, I’m awake by 7:30 and brought coffee at 7:45. Bliss I can read for an hour adn a half before I get up. I continue with The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August. It is a compelling book and asks some interesting questions about repeated lives and what that might mean if the memories of each life are retained into the next life. I read until 9am and get up for my muesli breakfast and morning meds. I se the end of a 24 hour dance marathon in aid of Comic Relief and then tidy the kitchen. My partner returns from a physio session and after a while she goes out with my youngest daughter to the hair dressers and to go shopping for make up. With them gone I check my sisters redirected post. Nothing but advertising, so I write “return to sender, addressee deceased” on it and put it to one side to post later.

I decide to train and go and change into my gear. I set up my headphones and head for the garage where I strap into the rower and set off for an hours row. Its an okay session, burning off 800+ calories. It feels a tough session but the figures say it was okay.

While about to change out of my training gear I notice the garden guy has pulled up in his car so I abort my changing and go to see him with coffee and money. We talk about traveller funerals and the fact that we both like cash not plastic. I leave him to tidy things and cut clean edges to the front path. Once free I go for a shower. I notice when I am blow drying my hair that it is indeed getting quite long. It seems to me that newly washed and dried hair always seems longer, I’ve no idea why that should be. Before dressing I grab a dollop of E45 and give what I imagine is going to be the irradiated areas of my body a good moisturising. This is part of my pre-emptive self care before radiotherapy. All I need to do now is stop eating sweet stuff and train harder. So many “shoulds” and “oughts” that if only I did I would feel I was doing the best possible. As it is they serve as markers of failure or how far I fall short. Once dressed my partner and daughter return and I and my partner go food shopping at our local garden centre. Its basic stuff but I think we are going to do a rough approximation of a Christmas dinner. The only thing we cannot get is frozen peas so on my return home I and my eldest daughter walk to the shop to get some . There are times when making the effort is rewarded in unexpected ways. Today I was rewarded for my effort with a lovely rainbow.

Back home and feeling accomplished I download pictures and start to write the blog while nibbling away at a bag of mini eggs. I can feel my energy levels dropping rapidly and know that I am about to be overcome with fatigue even before the evening meal. I shall no doubt eat and retire to read until its time to take my night meds and have another go at getting a reasonable nights sleep. It is clear I’ve very few, if any spoons left.