Tuesday and it’s not as good as it gets gain any more. I had my oncology review today. My PSA has doubled but the oncologist does not want to use any of his other tricks (if he has got any that is), until we make sure that the last one is actually not working, so he doesn’t want to base a change on one result. I agree, as I do not want to burn my way through the options too quickly. He recognised my worsening response to my injections but has nothing to offer on that front. Thats the way it is. So, we agreed on a fresh face to face review at the beginning of January giving time for two new sets of blood tests and a new scan. He who made a pact with the devil is no one’s fool and identified some of my worsening symptoms as me slacking on my exercise and diet. Bastard too clever for his own good if you ask me, but he is right. So, it’s not as good as it gets anymore because I’ve slacked and that has to change. Exercise, diet and lifestyle are the things I can control and so it’s time to up the effort. It’s time for Rocket the symbol I use to psychologically think about how I mobilise my resources against cancer to take front and centre stage. From now and till the next oncology review its Rocket days. I will be fitter; I will be much lighter than the 99.3 kilos I weighed in at on Sunday and I will eat a healthy diet, the one of my choosing. Above all I will exercise. I have two months to do this and to demonstrate that I can still make the act of will that takes me forward. The same will that quit smoking, dragged dyslexia to two degrees, ran marathons and forged a career that supported a family. It starts now.

After the review call, I went to the Shed, filled the squirrel feeder and then settled down to write a letter and a new to do list. This was all done as the rain poured down incessantly. I dashed to the house at lunch time to have soup with my partner. I returned to the Shed to feed the hedgehog. The food from yesterday was still there but I replaced it with fresh anyway, because my hog deserves the best. I put the bin out for collection and posted my letter before getting ready to train. I decided that I was not going to pussy foot around with half an hour and went straight to a 45-minute session on my cruise level. It was a reasonably good session for a first one back after eleven days. I only have to miss a couple of days and I put on weight and lose fitness. Of course, I have Rammstein loud in my ears.

I record my session and then draft the blog before the evening meal. My evening will be football and reading before a reasonable early night as I intend to see if I can get myself up for training at the start of the day. That in itself is a challenge, but then these are Rocket days now.