Thursday and I have a 9 o’clock meeting so its a quick muesli breakfast adn coffee before settling down with colleagues. Its a good meeting, a mixture of operational stuff and social engagement. Post meeting I catch up with some admin and then I read for a little while. Come lunch time my partner and I drive to our local farm butcher and buy the meat for dinner on Saturday when we are cooking for friends. Soup for dinner and then I take a trip to the garden centre to replenish Squishy and Squashes food. When I get back I find that something sneaky and probably rodent has got into one of my sheds where I am storing the squirrel and bird food. I have to re-package the food before I refill Squishy and Squashy’s feeding station. I return to the Shed for a while to write a few words and then visit the post office to buy more stamps. Back in the Shed I read more of Dead Man Running until the garden guy arrives, I equip him with tea, money and instructions and then cook a meal. The family eat and then I give my eldest daughter a lift to circus skills. I read more of my book as I wait in the car till the end of the session. Home and I watch football and then read some more and message friends. Finally I write the blog.

I realise that this is short and sweet but I intend to finish the book tonight, I do not want it hanging around any longer. It is full of stuff that is familiar and difficult. Reading the experience of a younger man with metastatic prostate cancer going through the same process as me and experiencing the same physical effects is difficult. His journey is radically different to mine as he throws himself into ultra running and travels the world to different challenges. He also very quickly integrated himself into the world of charity fund raising and the Cancer charities. Perhaps the combination of extreme physical effort and interpersonal engagement with fellow prostate cancer sufferers accounts for his survival. What is particularly difficult is the fact that he has survived for longer than I have so far by many years and he has therefore experienced the side effects of chemical castration for longer, it does not paint a pretty picture of what I can expect the longer I survive, even if I stay fit. It is the psychological battle to remain the person I recognise as myself that is the most demanding and challenging.