Friday and I sleep late even though I went to bed early for me, so its about 9 o’clock when I surface. I am groggy and it is a result of the meds. I wander down stairs, hang my washing out and eat a muesli breakfast. Then for the first time in ages I am off to the Shed. I light my scented candles put on the radio and prepare to write letters. Its really nice to look out over the pond , (sounds grand but isn’t really) and wait for inspiration. The letters write themselves and are mystery to me. I am on two my second letter when I get a call from a friend on the way to the osteopath or chiropractor, I forget which. We chat for quite a while about how we are both managing and how we hope to progress. It is good to catch up and here how someone else is dealing with juggling their spoons in order t get through life. Soon after I stop for lunch.

Lunch is a treat as my partner has made me a bacon sandwich, the first one at home for a while. It is a chance to chat as our eldest daughter is out visiting parrots at the local bird garden. Over the last couple of weeks we have both had to manage the challenge of family members going into hospital alongside our own ailments. It has been wearing and there has been a lot of emotional heaving lifting to be done, it leaves its mark. It is especially difficult when the need for care is not necessarily recognised at the time. We talk about how we are and what we want. We have at least a weekend ahead that is free for us to do as we want to. It reinforces my decision to stop work in mid June, I need the time to rebalance some of the way we live. We finish lunch and I return to the Shed and my partner to work.

The letter I was writing is completed and so I pack up the Shed and an wander over to eh post box to send my letters on their way. On my return I clear he kitchen, empty Daisy the dishwasher and bring in my wind dried washing. I down a coke and head for bed in structing Alexa to wake me up in 30 minutes. I like my afternoon nap habit. I always feel better for it when I manage to do it. I do get woken up in 30 minutes adn have to fight off the temptation to sleep longer but 30 minutes is what is in the schedule for Olympic rowers so I stick to that. I get my gym kit together and then start to draft the blog, reminding myself to feed the hedgehog before going to the gym.

The gym goes well with me burning off 548 calories and going 21.51 kilometres on the recumbent bike. A shower and then into the lounge to find no bar service. So we drive home and settle in to a take away Indian. My son contacts me to say my granddaughter has been admitted to hospital. The doctors are trying to sort out what’s going on and will keep her over night. The evening continues with a spot of TV but it turns into an early night for everyone.

Thursday and I wake up with about eight minutes before my morning work meeting. I grab a coffee and meds and log in. The morning meeting goes well if a little routine. I sort out the work admin from the meeting and then I am packing my bag for the gym. Mid morning gym is quiet on the gym floor the swimming pool is full of what can only be described as tonnage striving to be less. I get a cross trainer and start out very slowly not knowing how long I was going to last. In the end I surprise myself and my I suspect my body. I shed 711 calories and go 7. 41 kilometres. I am knackered by the effort and meander to the showers.

I indulge in a long hot shower and then sit for a while in the changing room. I then monopolise one of the hair dryers as I tend to my flowing white locks which are now, it has to be said is, long. As it dries out it becomes very “fly away” and more noticed by my fellow semi nude changing rooms chums. It seems an old white bloke with long white hair is quite a rarity in the world of David Lloyd gyms. It seems I am characterised as someone out of Harry Potter. I hit the lounge and settle down to a large coffee with two egg and bacon rolls, one for breakfast and one for lunch. Then its the drive home.

Once home its time to hang the towel out and put my washing on before going to the bedroom for a half hour nap. Alexa is very useful in this respect as I just ask to be woken up in 30 minutes and it does. I of course over nap but I am roused by the arrival of some pictures from a friend who had been fixing doors to a storage unit. I clear the kitchen and then the guy who tidies the garden arrived. I make him tea and go to chat to him for a while. Tea time arrives and I eat tea with my partner before she goes off to her on line singing lesson. I take the opportunity to start drafting the blog, before the rest of the evening drift before me. I need to attend to my brain feeding in the evening, thankfully Bridgeton is coming to an end. My sister rings and tells me the glaziers arrived and mended her window as arranged. It is a relieve to know that things have worked out and gone to plan.

Wednesday and I wake up to find my partner already trying to sort out what is going on with her mother at the hospital. There are family calls going on. I get my breakfast and prepare to go to the chiropodist. My partners mother has spent the night at the hospital and is waiting on the results of the tests she has done. I drive to the chiropodist and settle into the treatment chair. Its a real luxury to have my feet given attention and to come away with them very happy. I drive home and catch up with the news from the hospital. Its good news she is coming home today, so there are calls to be made and arrangements to be made.

I log on to an Elders meeting and spend the next hour and a half discussing business and follow up from the face to face meeting we had last week. I have a soup lunch and then put tonights meal in the crockpot. Having done this I find that I have run out of spoons and retreat to my bed for a nap. Its just one of those days where my energy is insufficient to sustain me at the level I would want. Post nap I feed the hedgehog and check that the garden camera is working. I replenish the batteries and test it to my satisfaction. It goes back into the garden. My partners mother has arrived home and settled back in.

The evening starts with the meal and then some and football before I draft the blog. I am hoping for more spoons tomorrow as I am disgruntled with myself at not training today.

Tuesday and I have an exciting day ahead. Its the day of my Motorway Awareness Course. I get up and head for the village shop for a paper and I was hoping for the village café to be open. The paper is easy but he village café is not open. I retreat home for time to do the crosswords and to make a fried egg sandwich, which is delicious. I set about confirming the glazier for my sisters house and paying the invoices for them and the locksmith. I ring my sister to tell her the glazier is coming on Thursday and we have a chat. I always feel better when She answers the phone as it reassures me that she is cooping with life. Today she seems in fine form. I bring the Apeman garden camera in from the garden and down load the content. It seems that our hedgehog is venturing out in the light of early dawn most days. Our hog appears to be fit and well and I am wondering if the fine, sharper facial features indicate a female or not.

I replace the batteries in the camera as it appears to have stopped working over the last few days, although I am not overly concerned as the food keeps disappearing from the canteen so I assume the hedgehog is alive, well and eating. I log onto my Motorway Awareness Course and get quickly vetted for my ID. There is then a wait till everyone has been checked and then we are off. Nine of us and the tutor then spend the next three hours together. It is an interesting course with a look behind the scenes of traffic control, IT systems and hazard management. There is also some driving tips and information. Apparently wearing polarised sun glasses to drive in the rain and mist is a good thing to do. If you drive at 72mph at the point at which you would have stopped if you were doing 70mph you are still doing 17mph. Apparently small increases in speed increase stopping distances in a much larger way than one would think. All in all it was a good course and I have avoided points on my licence. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon.

My daughter and I have fish and chips for tea and then settle down to watch Bright a film about mixed species policing. Just as the film ends my daughter takes a call from her Nana who tells her she is being taken to hospital as she has had one of her turns. Paramedics are in attendance and give my daughter the details. I message my partner who is out with a friend. My partner returns home with her friend and we go into “Nana is going/in hospital” mode. There are many calls until its clear she is on over night and we can get some sleep. We all go to bed with phones turned up and close to hand.

Monday and I wake up feeling groggy. I get up to coffee and muesli and then begin to organise myself. In a very short time there is a delivery, a new hoover of the traditional style. Henry is good but has not found favour with half the cleaning duo of the house. I was presented the package as fir were a jigsaw, so I duly unpacked it and gave it a test run. It has headlights, but I do not anticipate hoovering in the dark. I leave the new toy and set about clearing the kitchen and preparing to go to the Shed.

I get to the Shed with my laptop and spend time looking at documents sent to me by my nephews wife who is setting up own counselling practice. I beaver away until a friend calls and we exchange thoughts about how having an ill relative can be challenging and make us realise the difficulties of being adequate. We chat for a while before she breaks off to attend a funereal and I return to the documents. I receive messages from a friend who is waging war on dust in her sewing machine and overlocker. It seems the world is cleaning today.

At lunchtime I send the documents to my nephews wife and sit down to a lunch of soup. Then I get ready to go to the gym. I am not sure about it as I am stiff from yesterdays gardening, but I put my gear in the car and drive to the gym. I change and get up on the gym floor. I get a cross trainer and set off. I’m thinking half an hour will do it for the first session after my break. In the end I go for the full hour burning off 704 calories and going 7.36 kilometres. I am surprised I made it and head for the showers. I can feel my body complaining as I go. A quick shower and I drive straight home without stopping for my usual americano.

I walk in home and find my sister is on the phone talking to my partner. I am instantly relieved. I make a coffee and take over the call. We chat for a while, about all sorts of things and identify one or two things that she cannot find after we cleared up. She is on good form and sounds like she is thriving again. I promise to ring tomorrow about replacing the back door glass. Its time for tea and as I eat I begin to draft the blog. My evening will be partly spent preparing for my motorway awareness course tomorrow. Twelve of us zooming on a motorway speeding course, am I the only one to see the irony in this? So as long as the IT holds up I will keep a clean licence. Once my home work is done I think an early night is in order. This is the first day of trying to get my weight down again. Recently my weight has ballooned to the point where I trained in an ice hockey training top that can only be described as voluminous. It’s back to denial of sugar, more fruit and protein. The gym will be my second home and I feel gym spa days coming up. Sometimes after training when there has been a break from the gym I pass blood immediately after but today this did not happen, I am relieved and know that there is more effort to come. Sleep and drugs for me next.

Sunday, and a lazy start after a tossing and turning night. I make drinks for myself and partner so we can lay and chat before getting up. We have breakfast and then I set about the garden. I spend the day potting plants, weeding, clearing the patio, tying the roses to the screens, cut the front hedges, mending the raised beds and a lot of general maintenance. During the day my partner went to the gym and my eldest daughter went to visit the parrots at the local bird garden. By five o’clock I am done so I feed the hedgehog and retire to the house to soak in a bath bomb bath. I try to ring my sister but there is no response. I take a turn round the garden and take pictures of some of the flowers in the garden.

I finish my bath and start my evening with a meal and then watch the BAFTAs. I ring my sisters neighbours and who reassure me that they had seen her today and that she had received her Amazon parcel. My last act of the day is to watch match of the day and draft the blog.

Friday and I am up early as I am going to London with my eldest daughter to oversee the locksmith putting new locks on my sisters house. I have a quick breakfast and we set off. Before hitting the M1 we stop off at a Sainsburys to get some food for lunch and some cash. The later was thwarted by a non working ATM. We head down the M1. We chat on the way, its a good journey and the roads are clear. Two hours later and we are unlocking my sisters front door.

Its not long before a neighbour arrives at the door and we introduce ourselves. She is under the impression that another neighbour thinks that my sister is being discharged from hospital. I am surprised and ring the hospital. The hospital are indeed intending to send my sister home. I talk to the nurse in charge of the ward and express my concerns, she listens and promises to get the person who carried out the assessment of need to ring me. My daughter and I continue to clean the kitchen and the fridge. We check the post and we sort out a hanging bathroom light and one or two other things. The care need assessor rings me and we have a long conversation the upshot of which is that as my sister is well again, has capacity and has made the decision to return home she will be discharged. There is an issue around access and keys and I agree to tell the ward if and when the locksmiths work is done.

The locksmith arrives and is able to fit a new lock that uses the exiting key, which solves an awful lot of problems. We go and shop to get food in and restock the fridge before I ring the hospital and tell them that the work is done. I have a conversation about timing but stress that I will not be there to receive my sister after 5 o’clock. I ask them to ring me when my sister has been picked up by the transport. They agree.

My daughter and I go to the corner shop for a sausage roll and a drink. As we sit outside I get a call saying my sister was on her way. We go back to the house to wait. We wait and wait. In theory its only a 20 minute drive. In the end there is time for my daughter to return to the cake shop and buy us a treat while we wait. Eventually an ambulance appears and my sister sets off to number 9 across the way as she thinks the house keys are there. My daughter intercepts her and we and the ambulance driver guide her into home.

My sister is looking much much better than she did. We make her a cup of tea and settle down on the sofa to chat. I tell her what we have done and where things are. We make a meal for her and sort out what she has brought back from the hospital. We continue to chat as she eats and has a second cup of tea, Its gone seven thirty by the time we say goodbye and leave to drive back to Leicester. I promise to ring the next day.

The drive home is slow as it gets dark and it starts to rain. As we approach the home junction there are lane closures and we crawl the last three miles. We get home just as the takeaway arrives. I unpack the car and go into eat the Indian. I am very tired and its been an unexpected day. My sister is home unexpectedly and hopefully is resting in comfort for the first time for a while. The account of my day is a short version as there are details that I have omitted, like the conversation with the neighbours.

Saturday and I am brought a coffee and toast in bed, so there is time to enjoy it before moving my car so that my partner can go out. I set about my washing and clearing the kitchen. I take time to feed the hedgehog and then I am of to the post office to send back some goods to Amazon. On the way a friend calls and we have a chance to catch up with how owe both are. It seems we ae both hoping for some time to rest and recover. I send my package and walk to another shop to buy a paper and some food to nibble. Back home my partner returns and after a light lunch and a bit of a ruby match we go off to the garden centre to buy fresh vegetables. Having achieved this we make haste to our favourite garden centre to but some new plants for the garden. We wander around selecting plants and thinking about where the gaps are in the garden beds and pots. With a trolley load of new plants we head home where I set about putting some of the new plants into the front garden pots. I try to ring my sister as promised but get no answer so I leave a message and send her an email as I know she reads my blog and then checks her emails. There is tea and rugby and football during which I start the blog. I am tired, I think am still tired but intend to start back in the gym tomorrow.

Thursday and I wake up at MB3 after a reasonable night. My fitness watch tells me that I slept 4 hours and 57 minutes but has me starting to sleep at 2am. This is not true has lost me at least 2 hours off my total. Nevertheless I still maintain a higher deep sleep ratio than the average. I am usually in deep sleep between a third and half the time whereas the average is about 20%. Clearly my brain is getting a good clear out each night as research shows that in deep sleep the chambers of the brain open up and are flushed through by the various cranial fluids. I like to think that the sewers of my brain are cleanly flushed each night.

I pack and tidy my room before going over to the main centre where I make coffee and finish the blog of the two previous days by adding some pictures and then posting it. Breakfast of toast follows before my 9 o’clock Teams meeting. I do the meeting which is relatively short and not with much content of weight. I finish, pack my backpack and say farewell to the director of the space. I drive home in sunshine.

Once home I unpack straight away and set about doing some jobs. I feed the hedgehog and find that the heater has been left on in the Shed since Tuesday. Its never simple is it. Try to cut back and shot self in the foot, arsehole! Alongside this I unplug the recalled power reducers as they have been recalled as dangerous. I pack them up ready to go back to Amazon. Once again I try to reduce our energy bills and get thwarted. I have lunch and then go to our local Wickes to buy a spare door bell for London and some batteries for the old one. On the way back I top up the car and lay in fresh water and wine gums for the car. Tomorrow I go to London to oversee new locks being put in. I eat tea and decide that I need a restorative bath. I draw the bath and indulge myself with not one but two happy hippo bath bombs. I wallowed in purple warm water with my bath candles alight on the side table. It was a delicious hour. I get out and settle down on the sofa to watch Rangers play RB Leipzig. Just before it starts my sisters neighbour rings me to tell me that he is going away for a week as from tomorrow. I told him I was coming to London tomorrow to sort out the new locks and would leave him a new key before I return home. I watch the game. Its a good game and Rangers win taking a place in the final. By the end of the match its time to draft the blog and get myself to bed, it will be an early start tomorrow.

Tuesday and today I am due to travel to an Elders meeting in Toddington, Gloucestershire. I set about a toast breakfast and coffee before preparing to travel. The hedgehog gets fed early and I clear the kitchen before I pack my bags put the bins out. Today is the day I fill my two drugs wallets for the coming fortnight. It is one of those maintenance rituals that keeps me on track of where I am in my 28 day cycle. I go to the Shed and write my resignation from the Enabling Environment team. A brief matter of a fact letter , which I duly seal and stamp. I also write a letter to a friend. I move my car and then walk over to post my letters before making myself lunch. I ring the hospital to see how my sister is doing and I am pleased to hear she is improving and that people are visiting her and taking food. I send photos of the doors that need locks to the locksmith and confirm that they will come and do the work on Friday.

I drive off at about 2 o’clock and call into the garage on the way to fill the tank and check the tyres. I also load up with goodies to nibble over the next couple of days. The drive is smooth and trouble free and I soon arrive at MB3. I chat with the director and then go and pick a room in the accommodation block. I unpack and head for the yurt in the grounds. It is a big yurt and contains room for an inner ring of 12 chairs and an outer one of 27 chairs. I sit alone on the outer circle and listen to the birds and wait. I usually write in these times but nothing comes so I just sit and listen and wait. After an hour I take a stroll around the grounds and then join a colleague on a bench and chat for a while until we go up to the main building to meet the other attendees.

We sit by the log burner and wait for others to arrive and then eat a dinner of lasagne and salad followed by chocolate cake and ice cream. Back in front of the log burner we chat and reminisce until slowly one by one we retire to bed. I settle down too tired to blog and find myself drifting off. It is a reasonable night with only one or two painful moments and I drift towards the morning and my Eric Sarte alarm at 7:45 on Wednesday.

Wednesday arrives to the loud dawn chorus and Eric Sarte. Its been a reasonable night. I make coffee and take my drugs including some pain killers as I’ve decided to leave the back support off today. I go across for breakfast and sit with my colleagues and chat. I notice on the way over to the main centre two things. Next doors tree carving and the adaptability of nature in the form of blue tit ingenuity.

We wash up and go to the first session in the yurt. Of course none of the content can be here but it was a real personal pleasure to be amidst colleagues who share so much and have a lot in common. We come to our first break and then move into another session to discuss a project that we have under way. Lunch and more reminiscences of TCs past. We move into the afternoon and zoom sessions. These sessions are important and we as a group try to be useful and thoughtful to and with the people we are with. Both of the sessions give us a lot to think about as a team and what we can realistically offer. We use time after the sessions to try and process the content. Our end time comes quickly and people either hurry or drift away. Two of us are staying over tonight and we will find our way to the local pub to dine and then I suspect, retire early. I have a Teams meeting at 9 o’clock in the morning.

Sunday and I am whiling my time away keeping still and reducing the pain till my appointment time rolls round. I watch half a snooker match, half a football match and half a rugby game. Somewhere in there my youngest daughter arrived. At last its time to go to the emergency walk in clinic. My partner drives me there but cannot come in with me. I check in and expect to wait a long time especially as I am early. I have may back pack with me stuffed with distraction and cancer data. To my surprise I am called in straight away and bizarrely I recognise the para medic as the same one that diagnosed my DVT over two years ago. He is very business like and askes me all the usual questions. He cannot access my latest bloods but I of course have them with me. The outcome is good, its torn or strained muscles, its all soft tissue damage. Voltarol, pain killers and sensible gentle exercise for the upper body is the way forward.

My partner drives me home and we get on with our evening. It ends with me taking more pain killers and going to bed for what turns out to be a trying night as I discover that it is more painful to lay down than to sit up or walk around.

Monday, bank holiday and I wake up quite late propped up. There is a coffee waiting and I sip it as I assess how I am. I get up and check my emails as usual and find my partner and youngest having breakfast. I do toast and coffee and set about getting my washing done along with some other chores. In no time at all its time to go to the pub where I booked a table for lunch. We arrive slightly early and have to loiter till the doors are opened. Once in we hunker down and order our meals and talk about the family and what we all need to do over the coming weeks. Its a good meal and a good conversation. We return home and we wrestle with the obstinacy of a laptop to hook up with an external monitor, usually adn easy peasey job but impossible on this occasion. My youngest daughter leaves to return home and I set about feeding the hedgehog, filling the bird feeders and bringing in my washing. I’m about done for the day and out of energy, my back is not sharp but aching and its a bit draining. I get back to the sofa and watch TV while drafting the blog. Tonight will be an early night as I intend to drive to a meeting tomorrow and stay overnight so I will need all the energy I can muster. So the last 72 hours feel like they have been a bit of a roller coaster with blood test that tell me I am still in the fight and then back pain that re-stimulates all my fears about kidney failure and cancer growth, finally the relief that my pain is soft tissue. So now its about pace and continuing to move in a manageable way.