Well an average day became a good one today when I went to the shop for the first time and did real shopping amidst other masked folk, except of course the arrogant chippy owner who just wandered around like he did not give a shit. No more fish and chips for me.
Apart from al the low potassium stuff I bought I posted my latest letter and then sauntered back in the sunshine , rather pleased with myself. Into the shed to think and read before my lunchtime open forum. Always interesting to hear how others are coping in the COVID crisis and dealing with the less law abiding members of society. A brief break for lunch and then it was time to write up the notes from the session. I find it an interesting process recalling a meeting and my own reflections.
All this fun had to come to an end as it was time to clamber on to the exercise bike and burn off some calories. I spent the first fifteen minutes with the training mask on continuing to try and boost my lung power and also my blood count. A hot afternoon and so I spent three quarters of an hour on the bike. Having recovered I took to the sofa and registered us all as voters and then began the blog. Dinner was of course Thursday night tuna pasta followed by my one cup of coffee for the day. So tonight I shall idle away mending a sewing machine while my partner has her singing lesson over skype. If I am lucky I will get to watch some Strange Things.
Tuesday was oncologist day. I had done my home work, got my blood test results in front of me, I had listed my questions and knew what I wanted from him. The arsehole rings 30 minutes after the appointment time, like I haven’t got other things to do. The exchange was so brief it border on the indecent pre ejaculation of a teenager in a hurry, it went like this; “Hello Roland (marks for getting my name right) how are you? (not waiting for a response), your dehydrated you need to drink more water, I’ll ring you again in four months and send you a blood test form. Me; “I ‘d like blood test forms in the interim to monitor my PSA and my now elevated potassium levels”. He who has made a pact with the Devil, ” No I will send you one ,see you GP, its up to him, drink more water and your kidneys will take care of the potassium, goodbye.” It was that quick. I know I am, in prostate cancer terms, a star pupil and that he is probably busy but the rapidity of the interaction must be a record. The inly time this bastard is going to be interested in me ,(and no then as a person) is when I am on the way down and “medic meat”. Then he will try any thing to keep me alive in any bloody condition. I was left feeling that I am in this on my own, which his existentially true, but in terms of feeling that I have any sort of ally in the medical team, forget it. That coloured my Tuesday and frankly I coudl not be arsed with a blog.
Today has been much better. An early call from a friend started the day well and then a productive morning in the shed was a lift from yesterday. Before I escaped to the shed my eldest daughters belated birthday present arrived, an Olympic lifting weights bar. They weigh the same but the grip is a slightly smaller diameter to accommodate a full hand grip. I think the deliver guy was a bit bemused by the long tube that weighed so much. By lunch time I was ready for todays Open Forum which turned out to be an interesting hour.
I headed for the garden and put in some edging round along one bed. Content with my effort I got ready to train. I did an hour on the bike and remembered to drink a load of water as I did it. I would not want the oncologist to be disappointed would I. I complete my session, pack up the shed, and clear the kitchen before turning my attention to the blog. Tonight Brentford will try to overturn a one nil deficit to Swansea to win the promotion semi final. I am not hopeful and fear a night of disappointment.
Today is my eldest daughter birthday so it was up early, breakfast and off to the tropical bird garden just outside the village. It was a treat she asked for and we soon got in to the swing of things finding birds to photograph and to feed. There are birds who are gentle and will gently take a grape or a peanut from you but others are over anxious and will lunge at the food and often miss. The hornbeam who I offered a grape to was of the latter type. We dispersed our bags of food around the birds we meet and the odd goat. Then a real treat we went to the café and sat socially distanced as we ate and drank. Then it was home time.
Chicks of the future
Home and I find a pile of Amazon boxes for me. Mostly indulgencies, cook books and a new watch strap. So an afternoon of setting up my new DBA radio and fixing a new watch strap until it was time for a TEAMS meeting and some discussions about future work. A useful meeting, they mostly are, but this one meant I need do nothing extra for a while. Meeting over we work our way to the birthday dinner and the opening of presents. By the time we get through this my youngest daughter WhatsApp’s us for a chat that sees us all dive into different rooms to avoid the chronic feedback on the phones. A good chat, and then we settled into our evenings. before bed. Tomorrow is my oncologist three monthly call so I’ve been rereading some of my cancer books tonight. The more I read the less comforted I feel, but I have nothing to ask the oncologist. The more I read the more I know how the dye is caste.
A lateish start to the day but one that came with bacon, egg and bagel, a new low potassium breakfast. I spent time finding low potassium food charts and tables and putting them on the fridge. The whole process is quite depressing. I had hoped to find a decent phone App, but having looked a t few I decided to abandon the process. Below are a couple of posters I found and suck on the fridge.
NO CHOCOLATE!
I LIKE THIS ONE AS IT’S MORE OF A GUESSING GAME ABOUT WHAT SOMEOF THE THINGS ARE
Having depressed myself with how much is good for me that I dislike and do not eat I resorted to Amazon to order a couple of low potassium cook books. I would return to Amazon later for more essential goods. Having done all I could bare to do about food I checked my emails and found and e-letter from an old colleague and friend. It was a very chatty letter and a real pleasure to get. Read it slowly over an orange squash, as I had already had my one cup of coffee for the day. I am considering not having coffee early and to wait for the postman, that way of I get a letter I can read it over a coffee, which is a good way to respect a letter.
Time for an afternoon bath before the final football games of the season, much to be lost and won on this day and I will be able to watch one of the crucial games. Later my team Brentford play the first leg of a semi-final play off match to get into the premier league. Perhaps more of that latter.
The bath was run with bubbles and I clambered in taking my altitude training mask with me and a book. The one below that for some reason the parents of my youngest daughters boyfriend sent me. I read the chapter on prostate cancer of course.
The bath did two things, firstly the discovered need for a portable DAB radio so that I can listen to programmes in the bath, easily solved by a quick Amazon sorte, and second; the need to eat flax seeds. Apparently flax seeds are really good and have no potassium in them but also it has been shown to reduce cancer risk and slow cancer progression. Amazon are sending me a kilo which I shall consume as biscuits, smoothies and breakfast cereal. What was depressing was the overall consensus of opinion on all front that leafy green vegetables are good for you and that a plant based diet is good for you all round. I hate leafy vegetables and plant type foods so its not an appealing prospect to radically change my diet. All this research, reading and Amazoning was done while wearing my altitude training whilst slowly jogging horizontally in the bath. Well at least the first 20 minutes. Most of the research in the chapter that I was reading also noted that exercise has a profound effect as well. At least I got that right.
Football came and went as did dinner so now, having cleared the kitchen I write the blog as a distraction from thinking about how Brentford are doing as their match is nowhere on TV that I can get. It half time and no score.
My latest blood results are in and they are a pain. The good news is that my PSA is still 0.2 and that my kidney functions are stable as before but my potassium level is up 1.1 to 5.4 and outside the normal range. Means my body is not processing potassium out and dumping it in my blood, which is not good. So I am spending my time learning low potassium foods, what I can and cannot eat. I’ve been downloading nhs diet sheets and reading potassium information. If I cannot reduce my potassium then the medics will want to give me potassium binders. More shit medication. So diet first is my chosen option. I’ve also been in the bike for a while hoping that I will have dropped weight at tomorrows weekly weigh in..
So another interesting day. In the midst of this I mended my daughters laptop that seemed to have mislaid its hard drive. A bit of IT surgery and the laptop recovered to full health. The rest was just domestic tidying and preparation for Monday.
Today started with an early morning trip to the GP to have more blood taken. A quick trip and then home for breakfast. I retreated to the shed to paint, and there I stayed till lunch time.
After lunch I ordered an Olympic barbell and case for my daughters birthday on Monday. We reviewed what was available and chose one that will take the weight she needs to train to her potential. Then it was back to the shed to finish the painting. Later in the afternoon my padded bike saddle cover arrived so it was time to exercise. The saddle cover was a success.
Dinner of home made pizza followed by a Netflix film and the blog while I wait to see if my blood results have come through.
After a day of Teams open forums, reading criminal justice system COVID recovery plans, stupidly trying to use acrylic paints like water colours and completing my cycle training session I ate tuna pasta and settled down to read my latest copy of the Visionary. I am an ordained minister with a doctorate of divinity from the Universal Life Church Monastery. I was bored one afternoon and got myself ordained over the internet and in incidentally bought a Liouville slugger baseball bat the same after noon. Me, boredom and the internet is not a good combination. Any way I regularly get the Universal Life Church newsletter the Visionary drop into my in box and provides a really interesting insight in to American life and culture. A couple of things caught my eye this time. The first was the moment to cancel Darwin on the basis of racism. See link below:
The second thing to catch my eye was the the reversal of the New York City law banning gay conversion therapy by a group of advocates for the “therapy”. See link below:
I find both these articles depressing and wonder where this regressive mental state is going to lead. It seems that peoples need to believe in anything that is simple rather than require some cognitive effort and reflection. It could of course mean that as population increases that intelligence regresses to the mean and in a first past the post voting system then so will the arguments used to gain power. Simple arguments based in self interest that require little thinking will increasingly command more votes. Its tempting to think that America is doomed, but I cannot forget the nice American couple we meet in Mexico who were embarrassed about Trump and who were frustrated at what was happening to their country.
So I end the day slightly bemused and sore from my exercise bike, my injection and the thought that I am due at the GP for another blood letting tomorrow morning. I am missing the outside world, or more precisely the people in it whose company I crave.
Late last night I read the Amazon reviews of Haribo sugarless Gummy Bears and cried with laughter on the sofa. I cannot account for my sense of hilarity or the school boy nature of the humour but it hit just the right spot after a day during which I felt tired, under the weather and pissed off. This was just the lift I needed and went to bed much uplifted.
SUGAR FREE GUMMY BEARS: READ THE AMAZON REVIEWS.
Just open the link below and then the link in the post. Or you could search google for Amazon reviews of gummy bears.
I woke this morning still smiling from the previous evenings fun. Back in the real world I made breakfast and started to review some enabling environment work. What started as a routine task turned in to a mornings work. A quick lunch and I was into back to back Zoom meetings, the first a stimulating open forum for therapeutic community staff, however the latter was an AGM of the British and Irish Group for the Study of Personality Disorder, affectionately known as bigspud, which was more business than excitement. The major issue being whether the reorganised 2021 conference will happen. It seems like it will depend on what sort of winter we have in relation to COVID. At times it felt like we were slipping into the “Game of Thrones”, winter is coming.
By late afternoon I was zoomed out and retreated to the shed and the exercise bike. I now put on my training mask for the first ten minutes to make my lungs work and then it was a flog for the rest of the session. I think it is beginning to make a difference to my fitness but I have a long way to go. Dinner followed by football. A terrible night for my team Brentford, who managed to throw away the opportunity for automatic promotion to the premier league. I write the blog and prepare for bed.
Its been a long day of meetings, writing and trying to get over the soreness of my gut from the injection. I managed 35 minutes on the bike including 10 minutes in the sports mask to exercise my lungs a bit more. Apart from that we received the quote to have our heating re piped. So that’s going to be an interesting time in a few weeks time, doubtless we will face time redecorating. At least the heating will be good for the coming winter. Oh yes, I almost forgot I discovered that I have an oncologist appointment next week, which meant arranging more bloods to be done this Friday. Cancer is a drag.
Monday and its up early for a shower before going to the GP for my 28 day injection. Before I am dressed my youngest comes into my room laughing and shows me a picture taken by her partner of the three cases of Lindt chocolate balls in three flavour that have been delivered to her house. She is an assistant buyer for a large chain of retailers and had jokingly said to the Lindt representative that she missed the face to face meetings they had pre COVID because of the goody bags that the chocolate companies always brought with them. The representative said she would send her some goodies. My youngest was not expecting three cases, each containing 8 boxes of chocolate truffles! I think her partner was rather taken aback as well, but I am sure that they will manage the situation.
Three surprise boxes of chocolate!
My partner drives me down to the surgery where I ring reception to tell them I have arrived. Always tricky at that time in the morning as it is “Can I have an appointment “time on the phones. I get through and I am directed to the back door. Donning my mask with a newly acquired head strap to hold the mask on I wait at the back door. I should explain that due to the insubstantial nature of my ears they will not support the elastic strap of the masks. My nifty plastic strap provides “buttons” that the elastic straps can be attached to, therefore no irritating slippage or sore ears.
Simple but effective mask straps.
I am let into the surgery by the practice nurse and shown to the clinic room. The injection is mixed as I loosen my belt and provide access to the relevant flab. This injection is not quick due to the volume of stuff to be pumped into me. It is always sore due to the nature of the bulk and the ingredients themselves. At the time of the injection it’s the usual “sharp scratch”, it is afterwards that the soreness takes hold and then it’s a case of keeping busy and having hot baths.
We return home to make breakfast and to organise the rest of our day. I roam the garden making sure I know what the young guy who is coming to tidy the garden is going to be doing. I also do some pruning and tidying to pass the time. When he arrives, I make him strong builders tea and show him what needs doing, he is young and enthusiastic, which I need to keep in mind when talking the work through with him, otherwise the pruning and clearing might border on the blitzkrieg style of gardening. He sets to and I make bread before lunch. We sit and talk and then my youngest daughter assists her mother with a home hair kit, which goes exceedingly well.
I do some work and start the blog until lunch time when we sit down together and chat and idle for a bit. The young garden guy leaves and a little later we wave farewell to our youngest daughter as she heads for home and her treasure trove of chocolate. I return to the garden and start to plant out what is left in the green house and to tend the plants already dotted around the garden. I harvest my first crop of broad beans and peas. Not a huge haul but enough for tonight’s pie that I shall be making.
The first harvest
I beaver away continually planting and tidying till I am too tired to do more, is pie making time. I set to and prepare the pie while my loaf finishes. So by six o’clock had pie ready for the oven, fresh bread and an aching back from todays work. The rest of the family are out for a walk so I return to the blog and TV football. I am annoyed to have missed a phone call, the second one of the day. It doesn’t sound much but to chat and hear different voices from the family is important. I Spend time unpacking my new resistance training mask, which I am going to use to exercise my lungs and build my breathing capacity. It is the equivalent of training at altitude so there is a possibility that my blood platelet count will rise, which it could do with at the moment.
The new training aide
Its going to be an early night for me and a possibly a soothing bath to ease the soreness. Tomorrow I have a research meeting but apart from that I am hoping to write. I find that writing helps to keep me focussed and in touch.
