Tuesday, Hogmanay and I am ready to get up and face a day, this is it, I’m not going into the new year feeling crap nor not having had a shower with the addition of my new double sided shower sponge. Hedgehog on one side and creamy emolument the other. So while my partner goes off to see her mother with her brother I set out on my day. I clear the kitchen and indulge in toasted buttery crumpets with a splash of Marmite alongside a hot water and my morning meds. It never ceases to amaze me how the unexpected small things in life are the most time consuming and irritating. In my breakfast preparation I noted that the bottom draw of the under counter units would not close properly. That’s the irritation part. Of course I had to get the head torch out alongside the knitting needle used to test if meat has any blood left in it, to explore the chasm behind the bottom draw. What I discovered was a bit of a bummer, along with the packets of things that had fallen from the upstairs draws was an out of date packet of scones so old that they were completely black and providing the springiness of the non closing draw. What followed was a kind of bizarre jousting match of me with the knitting needle and the restrictions of the gap I had to work with. I am pleased to say I triumphed. The debris is safely in the bin and draw now closes properly, but I am knackered from crawling around on my hands and knees. Its this sort of unexpected activity that eats up my limited energy spoons.

Having conquered my quest I rested and read for a while. In my Christmas gift books was The Half Finished Heaven by Tomas Transtromer, a collection of his poems translated from the Swedish. He is my kind of poet, direct and simple in his vision and voice. I spend a while reading his work. He is published by Penguin if you want to read his work.

Finally I get to have my shower and use my combined “hedgehog and oily rag” ring of indulgence. Sometimes there is a good surprise waiting and this was one of them. As I tentatively started to rub myself down with the hedgehog side of this massive yellow Polo mint it actually did feel like the expensive experience of the Spa we had some weeks ago, and then to my continued surprise the smooth side was indeed buttery and moisturising. The result, apart from a happy me, was an extended stay in the shower, so a true indulgence has doubled my showering energy footprint. I guess there is a price to pay for everything.

Having returned my partner makes bacon sandwiches and shows me a new bargain coat that she has found. It is a true bargain and looks good. I ask for her assistance to find new slippers as my current ones are at times death traps. I need ones that grip my feet. I of course go to Amazon, she goes to M & S, that says so much about us, however she finds some really grippy ones that look cosy and in the blink of a few taps there is a reassuring message that the order has gone through and I no longer need to fear for my life in my current ones. Its ordinary moments such as these that continue to maintain the bond we have.

The evening drifts up on me as I do todays crosswords and draft the blog. There is little of note on television but it sounds as if there are revellers (drunks) in the main road of the village that motorists are honking at, so this New Years Eve might be less Hootenanny then previous years. My plan is simple, evening meal, a quiet evening that moves into Christmas cake and champagne, medication and then bed.

I just want to say to everyone who comes to this blog, for whatever reason that I thank you for it. I hope there is enough here to give you a sense of what my journey with cancer is like, both mundane and at times scary. Tomorrow starts a new year and I hope each and every one of you has a New Year that brings you joy, pleasure and a continuing sense of curiosity and fun.