Saturday and its been an appalling night of insomnia, where I have resorted to co-codamol to help my sleep and now pay for it, all day. I am wiped out, unable to raise enough spoons to do anything other than lay around and make the odd foray into the garden to hang out and hang in my washing. Apart from that I listen continually to Mark Steel is in Town and watch football, and latter McDonald and Dodds. I am exhausted by the time I take my night meds and vow never again to take co-codamol and to rely on paracetamol. I am just glad to get to the end of the day and pray for sleep.
Sunday and I wake up lucky to have had a better night. I check my vitals and submit my blood pressure to the GP surgery and slowly get up to have breakfast on the patio with my partner. We have friends dropping in the afternoon so once the meds and food is over me and my partner take to the obligatory pre visit clean and tidy up. In a moment of domestic pride I clean and shine the recliner and then once again organise office corner before continuing with the rest of the chores. By lunchtime the house is visitor ready, so all that remains is to snack and wait. While I wait I jot another poem and tentatively decide to call the third collection in the Cancer Years series “Breathless”
410
Is this the age of breathlessness
as my blood pressure creeps up?
Where my Sisyphus plods slower
no matter the slope or the volume
of the accursed rock.
This feels like a new battle
where the enemy has higher ground
and my weapons are blunted.
Each manoeuvre has now to be planned
carefully, considered, conserving.
Base camp is held,
only forays now attempted
to gain reconnaissance from the field.
I await major reinforcements
but my allies are far off,
and stretch across many campaigns,
so now I am entrenched.
My observers diligent,
my signallers at the ready,
but if rushed I may not repel.
This is a tricky time,
more camouflage than action
so I wait and while I do so
I write despatches in hope that this
is not the last.
410 18-08-2024
My friends arrive and we go out into the garden and settle down to cream and jam scones accompanied by conversation. It is a real pleasure to see my friends again and to have a chat and catch up. We of course talk ailments and changing times because that is what older people do. Its all about acknowledging a change in the balance in our lives and what we can ditch and and what is now truly important to us. We also talk about what new things we have discovered to listen to on the radio or the new writers that we have found or simply a new pleasure. My friends leave and I re-park the cars on the drive and start to draft the weekend blog finding that I had forgotten to finish and post Fridays blog.
I have no idea what I will do tonight apart from read, watch TV and prepare myself for tomorrow for tomorrow is Jab Monday. I will need to collect my jab from the chemist before I attend the GP surgery at lunchtime tomorrow. What I do will all depend on how tonight goes, sleep or no sleep but definitely no co-codamol.
