Saturday and I am writing the blog at the end of the day, which as been lovely apart from the disappointment of returning to our holiday base to find that I have blood in my urine again. It rather takes the edge of of what has been a good day. One in which the postcards got written, a gentle walk was taken and a delicious meal was had. Followed by a gentle walk back along the Felixstowe promenade and finished off with an ice cream. It was on my return to our rented holiday house that I found the effort had me passing blood again. So my evening has been one of drinking large amounts of water, nibbling food to comfort myself and watching rugby on TV. I am aware of the large amount of tension this creates in me, I find my head aching and my jaw aching as a result of my clenched teeth, my shoulders ache and are rigid with tension. Every visit to the loo is a ” will I or won’t I” experience. So I get to the end of my evening having more or less packed for tomorrows journey home and taken my meds before an early night. It wears me down. I know there are people worse off then me and that I have very many things that I am fortunate to have and people who care about me, but just once in a while it gets to me. Tonight is one of those times. I know that in a couple of hours I will have stopped passing blood in my urine and I will be okay again but it is the uncertainty of when it will happen again that nags at me. I hope for a decent nights sleep and a good journey home tomorrow. I can then get ready for my 28 day injection on Monday morning. Its going to be a rugged couple of days but that’s the deal to stay alive for as long as is reasonably possible. As I say sometimes it gets to me.