Tuesday and I wake to the sound of my partner going to work to be quickly followed by the arrival of the builder badgers who have started work on the front drive and building the new entrance pillars. I take my vitals and take some time to write and to read. I read the first section of rupi kaur’s “the sun and her flowers”. She is a poet made reference to in the book Yellowface that I have just finished reading. I was intrigued so ordered it and thought it might be a an interesting way to find new brain food. The collection traces the aftermath of a broken love relationship. This collection contains sketches by the author as well, it was apparently a Sunday Times best seller and was published in 2017. I am intrigued by the style and the format.
Whether it was reading poetry or reflecting on the family at the moment I find myself jotting one of my own.
393
I wake up expecting poppies
the platoon has scattered
each wounded in their own way
and all seeking safety.
The battlefield is strewn with dangers,
survival is tenuous.
Bound together by blood
it’s the fear of loss
that pushes one foot forward.
Some wander seeking aid,
a nurturing, saving hand
that will guide us back
to the regiment of family.
Field dressings have been applied
with promises of care to come.
No need yet for a stretcher
or the surgeon’s skill,
yet here we are hurt
and disconnected
our individual pains
driving wedges between us
as we crave care and attention
but feel unable to reciprocate.
So tired
so exhausted
by the pain
that no one can take away.
We are isolated
fearing stepping on a mine
as we look out over
the killing fields
of life, right now.
393 21-05-24
Finally I get up, breakfast and give the badgers coffee before taking to the sofa office. It is here I attempt to settle and to do so I start todays blog but to be honest I feel ropey. Soon its time to oil the badgers again with more coffee. I clear the kitchen and settle on the sofa where I start the days blog and tidying up my paper work. My meds are taken and note that I am back on the blood thinners after my three days off them to aid my recovery from the Uluru (Bladder stone) attack. Lunch time comes around quickly and then I start to try and record a video letter to a friend. Initially I have trouble with the sound level and some interference, but eventually after trying various solutions I change which laptop I use and the start. It takes me three goes to get the letter recorded through a mixture of inept techno management and dissatisfaction with the content. Finally I get a one that feels about right. Once the letter is on a USB stick I get it in to an envelope and take it to the post office. The short walk is a real challenge for me, I return home spoonless, it disturbs me.
Just as I settle down to do the days crosswords I get a phone call from a friend who I’ve not had a chance to chat to recently. It is a brief conversation as she has to collect her daughter after some shopping. It is good to hear another voice adn to hear someone talk about how they are and what it is going on in their lives. After the call I get on with todays cross words until the builder badges wave good bye. The front drive is beginning to take shape.
The evening arrives and I am still feeling under the weather, mostly my gut aches, but it’s having to have to deal with a lot at the moment in terms of the drugs in my system. I eat tea and return to the blog to a TV background and the wait for Tesco to deliver. Again I shall work towards taking my meds and having an early night. I will of course watch the great British Sewing Bee.
