CHEMO II DAY 322

Fight, head and heart

Thursday and after a reasonable nights sleep I take my time getting up, taking my vitals before I actually do. The readings are good and are normal. Once up I clear he kitchen and make myself one of my favourite breakfast of fried egg sandwich and coffee. The builder badgers are well under way and spend all day brick laying, it is in marked contrast to the literal heavy lifting and clearing they did yesterday. There is a lot of meticulous brick alignment going on and careful consideration going on. By the end of the day the patio has acquired its shape and the walls are growing. Within the brickwork is woven the trunking for the lighting that is being incorporated. Apart from providing coffee these badgers are very self sufficient.

I settle into my sofa office and set about recording more video letters. Its quite a slow process as I find appropriate conversation and try to produce some sort of appropriate flow. Some are easier than others but I try not to pause the recording. I would rather create a shorter letter than struggle to fid things to say. So my day is filled with spoken word as I talk watching myself on the screen, it is a strange process. I try to imagine the person in front of me and therefore create a conversational tone. When I play them back I am appalled by how often I Um and Ah and use certain fill in words. Part of the problem is needing to produce all the content without having someone to provide feedback or any conversational content. It makes me realise how brilliant Alastair Cook was when he recorded his Letters from America. He did have the advantage of having to produce fifteen minutes on a topic of his choosing but nevertheless it was a master class in verbal letter making.

By mid afternoon I have completed all the letters that I intend to record. There is all the envelopes and insert notes to do which takes a while and then I take a trip to the Post Office. I have seven small packets to send and I see the post folk sag as they realise I shall want all my packets sent to be signed for. We get the business done and I by a paper and some treats and return home to do todays crosswords. I am on form and soon whizz thorough the crosswords in time for tea. Its tuna pasta night as my partner will be doing her singing her lesson. As for me I am hoping to watch some football tonight and then have another early night to continue resting in anticipation of the visit by our new grandson at the weekend. So another mundane day where I have tried to rest. It makes me uneasy to be this passive but I am trusting there will be a pay off at the weekend.

Still working on it.