Friday, normally a day of celebration having reached the end of the week but today I am drained before I start. I got up in the night plagued my thoughts that I am being scammed by the people/ company supposedly producing my book. At 3 o’clock in the morning I got up and checked all the correspondence, emails and messages. I also checked out the web to see if I could find them. I did find them and as usual there were mixed reviews although overall Trust Pilot gave them a reasonable rating but as we all know ratings can be manipulated. I checked my Amazon KDP account and reconfirmed that authorisation codes should not be shared. I also checked all my bank accounts to ensure hey were all in tact and there was nothing unusual on them. In the end I sent an email to the “American team”, stating where we are and requesting details of what they are doing and exactly what what is supposed to happen next. There is either a book or there isn’t, if there isn’t I will cut and run and put it down to experience. I suppose the lesson in this is that vanity makes me vulnerable to being conned, shame really because I was genuinely excited about the prospects of a book being on the Amazon platform. So this Friday is a bit more “Glum” than usual, not to mention the fatigue. I did return to bed and slept a little better feeling I had done something. What with yesterdays scan my spoon reserve for today is low.
When I woke this morning I went through my cyber litter, check messages and my news feed. My partner brought my now normal hot water before I checked my vitals. As ever these were good enough. I get up and have a light breakfast and putter for a bit but basically I am just marking time and trying to collect myself. There should be drugs to collect as Monday is Jab Monday, I could do with training and a shower before going to to see Sister Act tonight but I suspect I will need an afternoon nap to get me going properly.
How the world changes. I realise that the chemist in the village closes for an hour at lunchtime, yep its that kind of village. So I settle down to write a letter to a friend on the laptop. It takes me about an hour after which I make my way to the post box and then onto the village centre to the chemists. I am surprised to be the only person in the shop as usually there is a queue of folk collecting end of week prescriptions. Clutching my drugs I go to the village shop in search of a paper and bread. I add flowers for my partner and walk home against the wind. Once home I put the flowers in a vase and put them in the office for my partner to have, then I feed myself soup and do the crosswords, all is good. I’m thinking about tonight and going out when I go to the toilet and find I am pissing blood. That short walk has induced this. I am gutted. I tell my partner and we agree that she should still go to the show and take my eldest daughter with her. There are calls made and ultimately my partner and eldest daughter will go with my brother in law and niece. I shall be staying home with my feet up. I take paracetamol and down a pint of water.
I am initially distressed but grit my teeth and accept that I need to rest and hydrate. The paracetamol is just to dull the pain of passing blood, after all I’m living proof that blood is thicker than water. While I sit with my feet up I check my emails and arrange for the builder to visit to talk more about the work on the drive and the patio. I also read carefully the response to my email to the book people I sent at 3am last night. The response is detailed and mildly reassuring, I suggest they send the digital proofs and that we talk again on Monday as I am currently ill. With that out of the way I return to the blog and update it. So I wont be going out tonight, I shall feed myself and watch rugby while drinking copious amounts of water. The ultimate aim is an early night and a nights sleep. As I said how the world changes, this is how cancer intrudes on the mundane. It is remorseless and persistent, as I and Rocket are.
