Friday and I wake to find a thoughtful cold coffee waiting for me. I clearly roused early and fell back to sleep. Surfacing I wonder how my youngets grandson is and whether he is recovering from COVID and I wonder if my presents are arriving for my eldest grandson in Sweden in time for his birthday tomorrow. First I must get new papers from the solicitors counter signed by my partners brother, so I message him and arrange to go round to see him in the morning. A quick breakfast and coffee with meds and I drive round to get the papers signed. I have a quick chat with my brother in law about an issue on the papers and then drive back home to check previous versions. Having checked that I have run off the right version I go to the post office to send the documents and buy a newspaper. I’m knackered, it would appear that recently I have had fewer spoons than before.

The second half of the morning I spend doing the days crosswords and reading Banana Yoshimoto’s Premonition, before eagerly devouring a bacon sandwich for lunch. I do not feel great so I continue to read Premonition. By 3 o’clock I have finished it. A beautiful sensitive book that only a Japanese writer could have written. It weaves the less tangible human experiences together with a modern Japanese context in a way that is not sentimental or fanciful but natural and easily acceptable in a matter of fact way. She is definitely one of my favourite writers. I had bought the book as soon as I had seen that is was available having been advertised as her new novel, but when I looked at the publication date I see that it was first published in 1988 some 35 years ago and only now in 2023 has been translated into English. So this gem of a novel has been around for thirty five years and I did not know it. Japanese folk have had this gem for all that time and no one thought to share it with the English speaking world. It makes me wonder what else is out there waiting to be brought into the culture. Perhaps some Japanese works are thought to difficult to translate without losing their subtlety and the way what the Japanese call Yugen, those experiences for which there are no words, is communicated outside the Japanese language. There is in this book the central theme of knowing something but not being able to identify it but knowing that you will. As I say a beautiful book.

Full of the Premonition I go to the village chemists to collect my medication and to buy more paracetamol as its the weekend before injection Monday. It seems to have come around quickly this cycle. I trudge down to the chemist in the ran, which is forecast to last all day so there is no point in delaying. Mission accomplished I trudge back and settle down to start the draft blog, knowing I need to clear kitchen, check my vitals and squirrel away my new medications. I sense its getting clos to the time that the heating will go on. Once or twice recently the hot air heater has been put on in the lounge to create a burst of warmth, an oasis of heat, and today I am wearing my Nightmare Before Christmas jumper for the first time this year. I guess winter is coming although this year it seems in fits and bursts. Perhaps it has something to do with my feelings of shakiness at times but I think it is more to do with anxiety about my condition and the medication.

In think that recently I have taken to drafting the blog earlier in the day but still posting it at night, which probably accounts for the change in tone of it and the structure. My spoons run out more quickly these days and by the time the evenings come around I lack sufficient spoons to write either cogently or expansively. The numbers of people looking at the blog and the numbers of visits has declined, which is not surprising given the time its been going and the humdrum nature of it. I appreciate that reading about my days as they become less exciting, if that’s the word, is understandable, but it still remains for family and friends to be able to dip into to see how I am at any time.

I feel the evening sliding toward me as the world goes dark outside and know that I shall eat dinner tonight, watch football, read and retire to bed hoping for a gentle sleep tonight. It has felt a long day.