CYCLE 5 DAYS 14 & 15
Monday 9th December.
I remember Monday as being a full day. Any day that starts with a trip to the GP to get the regular stab in the stomach fact is going to stick in the memory a bit I guess. In fact it went very smoothly with the nurse being her usual efficient self and remembering that this month it was to go in the left side of my stomach flab. I left the GP surgery and jumped straight into my car to go to a review meeting in Derby.
The area that I go to to do the reviews is a nightmare to park in if the nearest car park is full. It is patrolled by a keen and dedicated attendant who has the measurements of how to fit as many cars in as possible at his command. Fortunately there were spaces and I duly fished around for enough change to cover my parking period and headed off to the probation offices. Almost my first conversation was about the effects of the London Bridge killings. A probation officer told me that they were being told not to go to conferences that were going to be attended by ex- service users or current service users of the criminal justice system. As the conference on Friday that I was contributing to was a CJS conference I made and immediate call to check if it was still on. A colleague told me that there were meetings going on that would determine if it was to be cancelled. I would get told the following day. My first thought was that it was a bit of an overreaction, my second thought was that it would be par for the course for the agencies to respond in this way.
The review of the services went well enough, Several services have now got the award and some development reports, while others are in the process of requesting assessment dates. All well and good except for two or three services that are lagging behind through a number of reasons. It always difficult to try and be as positive and constructive as possible when all I want to do is ask what the fuck they have been doing for the last two years. They always have an answer of course but never a recognition that it’s down to them. Any way the day went well enough with future training dates arranged and a new review date agreed for next year. In the middle of the morning the managers had to deal with an urgent demand for a bed due to the fact that the parole board had released someone without a bed to go to who ticked every risk box possible. It was impressive to see the service managers working so hard to try and find a suitable bed in order to protect the public. It’s not what the general public sees and never know, but this team did their best to find a solution and ultimately they did.
Work done I drove back to Leicester for lunch and a bit of Christmas card shopping before going home to write cards and work notes. The office still smells of Mr Sheen by the way. I also began to think about the conference on Friday and my contributions but only half-heartedly given the uncertainty of the day. At about six o’clock I headed out to drive to Staffordshire to meet with old colleagues from my prison days. Tonight we were joined by the widow of friend who had early in the month and whose funereal I had gone to. The evening was convivial and went well, with a lot of chat and a traditional Christmas dinner. By ten o’clock we were done ad I drove home. The M1 junction at 24 which is run onto by the A50 was closed for the night meaning I could not get on the M1. Huge traffic jams and clogging, in the end I drove off in a general direction that I recognised with my satnav having a melt down and trying fro ten miles to turn me round. Eventually I got to a village I recognised and drove across country to get home some hour later than I expected. I was by now tired and grumpy and ready for bed. I did remember my drugs.
Tuesday 10th December.
I’m in the bath getting ready to go to the north when my phone rings. Conference on Friday is off but I and my colleagues may well still meet and run through some development work, I will know later, I am told. Later one of my colleagues rings me to talk to me about Friday’s cancellation. We discuss the overreaction and think about an agenda for the day. No sooner than I am off then phone when a friend rings and we chat for a while about Christmas and life in general. I enjoyed the call but by the end I realise I’ve been in the bath and hour and have gone the tradition prune configuration. I did discover thought that the small fold up table that we got to put next to the bed when we upsized it to a gigantic size does an admirable job as a bath side table supporting my phone, coffee and toast. I have left it there to inspire others to use it as such. I get into the car with all my stuff and drive to Harrogate. Meeting went well and I ran away to York, where I book into the hotel and relaxe before dinner. I like these nights away from home. They break up the week, give me thinking and reading time. They also let me be with strangers who have no idea that I am ill and I can swan about like a normal person. It’s a strange sensation but a welcome one. I know that if people look at me they are just looking at me and not assessing whether I am looking tired, ill, or need of something. I might not like what I see in the mirror but strangers have never seen me any different. So I’m just an overweight bloke with irregular stubble and a football head, just like thousands of other middle aged blokes. As long as people leave me alone then life is fine. I took my drugs and headed for bed for an earlish night but cannot sleep, so I blog before trying again.
