CHEMO DAY 49

CYCLE 3 DAY 7

Last night I went to bed super early because I had work to go to today and all I seemed to do was hot flush all night. To such an extent that I ended up laying on a towel to soak me up! I do not know if it is where I am in the cycle of chemo or if my hormone striping injection on the 9th has kicked in with a vengeance, or whether its a combination of the injection, chemo and my self stabbing routine. If anyone out there knows please let me know or point me in the right direction. I feel like I could push pins into myself and it would make no difference.

***IT FEELS LIKE STICKING PINS INTO MYSELF WOULD MAKE NO DIFFRENCE.***

I can cope, more or less with the need to get up and empty my bladder on a pretty frequent basis. As a man who knows what retention is like, I know what is preferable in that department. However this hot flushing can be a really inconvenient and uncomfortable. This is the first night I have resorted to laying on a towel to avoid a soggy bed, and it is something I would rather not do. I have of course googled and searched but always come up with nothing for men and a load of implausible hogwash for women. I did find a nice flow chart, which, pun intended, seemed appropriate.

So I continue to clutch my pet cool pad and constantly adjust the sheets; sheets off, sheets on, sheets off, sheets on… and before I know it, its time for another piss. All this jiggling around just serves to confuse my Fitbit. Last night it told me I slept in two chunks with an hours break in between. As far as I recall I did nothing special at two o’clock in the morning. So by six forty five in the morning I am a sponge and need to get up to go to work. Its speed everything now, superfast fried egg sandwich and coffee, daily drugs and best of all, speed stabbing. Thankfully this is the last one in this cycle. So out the door sprayed with deodorant, no time for a shower, my car needs to move to let my partner get to work, and I am heading for Derby probation office. Although I had left in plenty of time the usual array of minor accidents and rush hour traffic delayed me. Even so I arrived before time and had a bit of a breather and organised my thoughts and prepared some information. People arrived and then I was into doing the business. When Shirley Temple was a small and precocious super star child her mother would wait at the side of the stage with her. As it came time for Shirley to step out and entertain her mother would give her a bit of a push and whisper to her “Sparkle Shirley”. I’ve told people that story so many times that when they know I’m doing a day or a presentation they WhatsApp me with a quick “Sparkle Shirley”. It helps, I go out and try my best to sparkle. Today I more glimmered than sparkled I think, but it seemed to be enough. I came away with a sense of having done some good work and some practical things to do that would support the work of the teams. I drove home, abandoned the car and walked to the village café for a baguette and coffee. My eldest daughter joined me, having finished work and let me buy her a piece of chocolate orange cake. Having indulged, it was home and heads down to do the tasks I had picked up from the day. Lots of e-mails and feeding back to colleagues some of the issues alongside checking where information was. There was of course the expenses claim to complete and the check of the diary to ensure all my ducks were in a row

An evening of dinner and blogging with intermittent hot flushes. This is definitely the season for them, and I expect I will have a tricky night again tonight. I guess I will tough it out and hope that as this cycle moves on that they diminish. Its a dilemma. If it means that my hormone level is dropping, which means my cancer is being starved, then it will hopefully mean my PSA will drop or remain stably low This is my crucial marker, so I guess getting sweaty is a small price to pay for a decreasing PSA level.

Tomorrow I am up early to take the Wolf to the garage to have a new radio ariel fitted. At long last the Susuki trolls in Germany managed to make one and get it to England. We will see tomorrow if my garage can fit it quickly. It would be nice to have a choice of listening. As much as I like Bob Marley I am beginning to crave other music on my journeys. So hopefully I shall be a little less grumpy and more happy.