CYCLE 4 DAY 6

I wake up and check my fish survived the night having been cleaned out the day before. The little toughies did of course get through the night and were ready to watch the rugby world cup with me. As it happens this mornings match was a classic as the Welsh managed to beat the Australians, who were pleasingly chagrined. I had enough time to prepare to mend the wardrobe hanging bar at half time and make breakfast. So by the time the rugby was over I was equipped with drills, screws and a tool box with which to complete my task. Of course I had to remove all the clothes before I could make the repair. So many clothes. The repair went well and soon the hanging bar was once again secure and ready for the clothes to return. This of course is a task I would not dream of doing. Pleased with my DIY skills I decided this was a good time to do my fourth of fifth self stabbings in this cycle. I look at my flabby stomach area and note I still have three elastoplast on me. This was really handy as I had forgotten which side was due to be stabbed today, so of course the side with just one plaster was the side to go. Decided to go for the one plaster solution, so tomorrow life will be easier to pick a side.

Time for the gym and some shopping. The chemo plays havoc with my digestion. Apparently others have noticed this in their experience of chemo. I suppose if I’m being poisoned then my gut will respond in some sort of fashion. I guess if the yew tree juice is poisioning me and killing cells its likely to give the flora and fauna of my gut a rough time. No one at home has commented but I now open the bathroom window out of pity for the people I live with. My plan is to investigate those small bottles of yogurt that claim to be packed with the entire zoo of microbes required for a perfectly functioning gut. I’m hopimg that the process evens out over the 21 days of each cycle. Fortunatley as a boy scout I learned to stay up wind of wild animals and people who I do not want to smell me coming. It seems refructation can be tricky.

The gym was hard today. I had to force myself to get up for it and climb aboard a cross trainer. Usualy Sunday is the heavy session but today I backed off a bit and focused on getting into a rhythm. I had forgotten my ipod, which means I had to conjour up a fantasy to keep me occupied while my body got itself together enough to get underway and begin to pump the poison out of my body. I did my usual fantasy about training seriously and competing as a masters athlete. Of course I turn out to be spectacularly good and surpass all expectations. That usually takes me half an hour and my first water intake, then it’s on to another self glorifing fantasy. All of this until my Fitbit vibrates and tells me I’ve reached 10,000 steps, I ease off happy that I am now sweating healthily and cruise to the end of my hour session, now focussed on how many calories I am going to burn off in the session. 750 calories today. Happy to have managed the session I lay on a stretch mat and try to ease out my back and work my core a bit. I test my knee to nose ability on both knees. In my mind as long as I can get my nose on both knees then the fat layer at my midriff has not become too excessive. What is of note is that I get a pain in my right side when I am bending and stretching my right leg. I suspsect that my body is tight as well as responding to the cancer and the poison. Keeping active is the main thing, the aches and pains along the way can be dealt with.

Home and stow the shopping, and I begin to think about the blog and what I include and what I ommit. I think about how the mundane is remorseless, how the everyday requires attention and that “life admin” goes on. Clearly my mundane seeps into the blog and I wonder what I am doing sharing such everyday stuff under the pretense of sharing my experienice of cancer. I suppose the way cancer weaves itself into my being reflects the way it weaves itself into my life. Its becomes just another layer of admin. One more thing to be woven into the fabric of life, however it has the feel of inviting moths to live in my favourite jumper, sooner or later it they will eat it. I wonder how long people will be interested in my mundane, when cancer becomes the everyday. In the meantime I will persist.

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