Tuesday, and I wake up groggy so check my messages and emails, before getting up. My plan is to go to the gym, so I make a coffee and find I have a delivery, a book from a friend. The tittle makes me smile but as soon as I have read the first chapter I am hooked, its going to the gym with me. My friend has an unerring knack of sending me books that engross me. For those interested this is it:

I take my meds and finally get off to the gym. I fill the car with petrol and gulp at the cost and wonder if I can do the same mileage at the same price by taxi. On arrival at the gym I pop into my partners hair dresser to pick up some shampoo and have a chat with owner. Its not often I get to pick up my partners Moroccan. I hit the gym and get on a cross trainer. Its hard work today but I manage to burn 711 calories and go 7.46 kilometres. I’ve drunk my usual 750 millilitres of water during the hour. I sit in the changing rooms and do not feel right so I go to the toilet and find I am passing blood. This occasionally happens but usually when I have really pushed it in the training but this feels different. It raises all my anxieties about my cancer but it also makes me think that my thoughts about kidney stones of a couple of weeks ago might be true. I shower and go to the lounge for coffee and a bacon and egg roll.

I drink, eat and read for a while. I am engrossed in the new book, so recommend it to you all. I intermittently go to the toilet and experience more but less blood and some pain. Its going to be a long couple of days but I decide to ring the doctor tomorrow, which is unusual for me. I continue to read until its time to return home.

Once home I feed the hedgehog and check the garden camera. No sign of the hedgehog in the last five days but the food is going. No sign of the cat eating it or the squirrels. We do have a new young squirrel in the garden. My eldest daughter caught the moment that it discovered how to get food from the squirrel feeder.

The garden and the hedgehog attended to I turn my attention to filling my drugs wallets for the next two weeks and ordering my next prescription all the while drinking a lot of orange squash. I start to draft the blog as my partner goes out for a meal with a friend. My evening is going to be in two stages. As I draft this the world ice hockey championships is on TV and, already England are being handed their arses by Sweden, already four up in the first period. I shall then retire with my new book and read till I sleep. It feels like I am going into self containment survival mode. My garden continues to provide blooms to wonder at, which makes many things worth while, plus the odd young bird that’s not quite sure what to be doing.

Monday and all the family are going out to work this morning so my breakfast is leisurely before I ring my sister prompted by a message from her neighbours. She is in fine fettle and planning to go out to shop for food. I let the neighbours know and then I head for the Shed. I settle down to write letters and spend the morning doing just that. Lunch is a sandwich and then I set about planting the petunias and sorting out the last remaining pots. I beaver away taking drinks breaks along the way. It is clear I can no longer labour all day. Having satisfied myself that I had used everything and tidied away I took a few pictures of the latest blooms to appear in the garden.

I return to the Shed and write another letter. At the end of the afternoon I get the best message possible, my granddaughter who was in hospital is back home and recovering well. I just have enough time to get to the post box before the Tesco delivery arrives. So singled handed I put it away and clear the fridge and the kitchen. I’m tired by now and watch some TV till the family returns home and I start to draft the blog. A salad tea and I am ready to face the evening. I’ve no inkling how its going to go.

Sunday and at some early point in the morning I wake up and go off to the bathroom for my early Sunday weigh in. Success I weigh in at 96.3 kilos a loss of 1.7 kilometres. I am pleased and feel gratified that the week of denial has payed off. I return to bed intending a brief snooze.

Eleven o’clock and I surface. That was not supposed to happen. I can hear my partner and eldest daughter talking to my youngest daughter on the tablet. I groggily get up and find my way to a coffee to revive me. I do not get into the call and move onto toast and marmalade. My desk organiser is falling to bits so I spend time gluing it back into shape. Another rescue done. My partner and I sit on the garden swing seat and chat and plan for the day and the rest of the week. We drive off to the garden centre to shop for vegetables and to use a credit coupon. So as my partner grabs delicatessen goods and veg I line up to pay for two packs of petunias. I am very pleasantly surprised once I get to the check out to find that al I need to pay is 30p. Now that was a result. We drive home to grab a quick lunch before going to the gym.

It is raining as we get to the gym. We get water and head for the gym floor. I get a cross trainer with a TV on it so I can continue to watch the women’s cup final. My favourite payer Mille Bright is immense in defence. I grind out an hour but the game still has not ended as its ended 2 all at full time. I finish my session not knowing the outcome. What I do know is that I have burnt 714 calories and gone 7.48 kilometres. I head for the showers and get myself to the lounge where my partner is waiting. We drive home and my partner starts the evening meal and I retreat to the sofa to start drafting the blog. I reflect on the conversation I have had with my son this morning. My granddaughter is improving in hospital but of course the parents are stretched in all directions. There is waiting to be done as the doctors continue to bide their time to see how the medication works. So we all sit and hope things go well with some reassurance that the doctors are clear in their diagnosis and intervention.

I suspect the evening is going to be short, it turns out to be a film and football.

Saturday and I wake up late after what felt a disturbed night, I make drinks for my partner and I. So we sit and chat about the day ahead. Eventually we get up and I get to indulge in a bacon sandwich. After some time sitting around the garden table we decide to go to the garden centre to get plants for my partners mother’s patio pots. Before we leave I get a message from my son to tell me that my granddaughter is staying in hospital and will need an abscess removed. Always a difficult time when a child goes into hospital. We go to the garden centre and buy a trolley load of plants. Of course I cannot resist buying some for our own garden.

Back home I set about planting some of the plants in the garden and the raised beds. It takes a while and I also feed the hedgehog. Having put everything away I find I have time to get in a training session on the rower. It goes reasonably well.

I change and settle down in front of the TV for the cup final. Its a game that goes to extra time and penalties with Liverpool finally winning the cup. There is just enough time to get a meal and the its time for the Eurovision song contest. We have score cards and categories of point giving. So by the points giving stage of the competition its is well past eleven o’clock. I sit drafting the blog as the scores roll in, unbelievably United Kingdom are in the lead but I doubt its going to last.

And the result is… we lead after the national juries and the great public votes leave us SECOND behind the emotional Ukraine vote. Well that’s done for another year, so tomorrow is weigh in day and that is what matters in my world right now.

Friday and I sleep late even though I went to bed early for me, so its about 9 o’clock when I surface. I am groggy and it is a result of the meds. I wander down stairs, hang my washing out and eat a muesli breakfast. Then for the first time in ages I am off to the Shed. I light my scented candles put on the radio and prepare to write letters. Its really nice to look out over the pond , (sounds grand but isn’t really) and wait for inspiration. The letters write themselves and are mystery to me. I am on two my second letter when I get a call from a friend on the way to the osteopath or chiropractor, I forget which. We chat for quite a while about how we are both managing and how we hope to progress. It is good to catch up and here how someone else is dealing with juggling their spoons in order t get through life. Soon after I stop for lunch.

Lunch is a treat as my partner has made me a bacon sandwich, the first one at home for a while. It is a chance to chat as our eldest daughter is out visiting parrots at the local bird garden. Over the last couple of weeks we have both had to manage the challenge of family members going into hospital alongside our own ailments. It has been wearing and there has been a lot of emotional heaving lifting to be done, it leaves its mark. It is especially difficult when the need for care is not necessarily recognised at the time. We talk about how we are and what we want. We have at least a weekend ahead that is free for us to do as we want to. It reinforces my decision to stop work in mid June, I need the time to rebalance some of the way we live. We finish lunch and I return to the Shed and my partner to work.

The letter I was writing is completed and so I pack up the Shed and an wander over to eh post box to send my letters on their way. On my return I clear he kitchen, empty Daisy the dishwasher and bring in my wind dried washing. I down a coke and head for bed in structing Alexa to wake me up in 30 minutes. I like my afternoon nap habit. I always feel better for it when I manage to do it. I do get woken up in 30 minutes adn have to fight off the temptation to sleep longer but 30 minutes is what is in the schedule for Olympic rowers so I stick to that. I get my gym kit together and then start to draft the blog, reminding myself to feed the hedgehog before going to the gym.

The gym goes well with me burning off 548 calories and going 21.51 kilometres on the recumbent bike. A shower and then into the lounge to find no bar service. So we drive home and settle in to a take away Indian. My son contacts me to say my granddaughter has been admitted to hospital. The doctors are trying to sort out what’s going on and will keep her over night. The evening continues with a spot of TV but it turns into an early night for everyone.

Thursday and I wake up with about eight minutes before my morning work meeting. I grab a coffee and meds and log in. The morning meeting goes well if a little routine. I sort out the work admin from the meeting and then I am packing my bag for the gym. Mid morning gym is quiet on the gym floor the swimming pool is full of what can only be described as tonnage striving to be less. I get a cross trainer and start out very slowly not knowing how long I was going to last. In the end I surprise myself and my I suspect my body. I shed 711 calories and go 7. 41 kilometres. I am knackered by the effort and meander to the showers.

I indulge in a long hot shower and then sit for a while in the changing room. I then monopolise one of the hair dryers as I tend to my flowing white locks which are now, it has to be said is, long. As it dries out it becomes very “fly away” and more noticed by my fellow semi nude changing rooms chums. It seems an old white bloke with long white hair is quite a rarity in the world of David Lloyd gyms. It seems I am characterised as someone out of Harry Potter. I hit the lounge and settle down to a large coffee with two egg and bacon rolls, one for breakfast and one for lunch. Then its the drive home.

Once home its time to hang the towel out and put my washing on before going to the bedroom for a half hour nap. Alexa is very useful in this respect as I just ask to be woken up in 30 minutes and it does. I of course over nap but I am roused by the arrival of some pictures from a friend who had been fixing doors to a storage unit. I clear the kitchen and then the guy who tidies the garden arrived. I make him tea and go to chat to him for a while. Tea time arrives and I eat tea with my partner before she goes off to her on line singing lesson. I take the opportunity to start drafting the blog, before the rest of the evening drift before me. I need to attend to my brain feeding in the evening, thankfully Bridgeton is coming to an end. My sister rings and tells me the glaziers arrived and mended her window as arranged. It is a relieve to know that things have worked out and gone to plan.

Wednesday and I wake up to find my partner already trying to sort out what is going on with her mother at the hospital. There are family calls going on. I get my breakfast and prepare to go to the chiropodist. My partners mother has spent the night at the hospital and is waiting on the results of the tests she has done. I drive to the chiropodist and settle into the treatment chair. Its a real luxury to have my feet given attention and to come away with them very happy. I drive home and catch up with the news from the hospital. Its good news she is coming home today, so there are calls to be made and arrangements to be made.

I log on to an Elders meeting and spend the next hour and a half discussing business and follow up from the face to face meeting we had last week. I have a soup lunch and then put tonights meal in the crockpot. Having done this I find that I have run out of spoons and retreat to my bed for a nap. Its just one of those days where my energy is insufficient to sustain me at the level I would want. Post nap I feed the hedgehog and check that the garden camera is working. I replenish the batteries and test it to my satisfaction. It goes back into the garden. My partners mother has arrived home and settled back in.

The evening starts with the meal and then some and football before I draft the blog. I am hoping for more spoons tomorrow as I am disgruntled with myself at not training today.

Tuesday and I have an exciting day ahead. Its the day of my Motorway Awareness Course. I get up and head for the village shop for a paper and I was hoping for the village café to be open. The paper is easy but he village café is not open. I retreat home for time to do the crosswords and to make a fried egg sandwich, which is delicious. I set about confirming the glazier for my sisters house and paying the invoices for them and the locksmith. I ring my sister to tell her the glazier is coming on Thursday and we have a chat. I always feel better when She answers the phone as it reassures me that she is cooping with life. Today she seems in fine form. I bring the Apeman garden camera in from the garden and down load the content. It seems that our hedgehog is venturing out in the light of early dawn most days. Our hog appears to be fit and well and I am wondering if the fine, sharper facial features indicate a female or not.

I replace the batteries in the camera as it appears to have stopped working over the last few days, although I am not overly concerned as the food keeps disappearing from the canteen so I assume the hedgehog is alive, well and eating. I log onto my Motorway Awareness Course and get quickly vetted for my ID. There is then a wait till everyone has been checked and then we are off. Nine of us and the tutor then spend the next three hours together. It is an interesting course with a look behind the scenes of traffic control, IT systems and hazard management. There is also some driving tips and information. Apparently wearing polarised sun glasses to drive in the rain and mist is a good thing to do. If you drive at 72mph at the point at which you would have stopped if you were doing 70mph you are still doing 17mph. Apparently small increases in speed increase stopping distances in a much larger way than one would think. All in all it was a good course and I have avoided points on my licence. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon.

My daughter and I have fish and chips for tea and then settle down to watch Bright a film about mixed species policing. Just as the film ends my daughter takes a call from her Nana who tells her she is being taken to hospital as she has had one of her turns. Paramedics are in attendance and give my daughter the details. I message my partner who is out with a friend. My partner returns home with her friend and we go into “Nana is going/in hospital” mode. There are many calls until its clear she is on over night and we can get some sleep. We all go to bed with phones turned up and close to hand.

Monday and I wake up feeling groggy. I get up to coffee and muesli and then begin to organise myself. In a very short time there is a delivery, a new hoover of the traditional style. Henry is good but has not found favour with half the cleaning duo of the house. I was presented the package as fir were a jigsaw, so I duly unpacked it and gave it a test run. It has headlights, but I do not anticipate hoovering in the dark. I leave the new toy and set about clearing the kitchen and preparing to go to the Shed.

I get to the Shed with my laptop and spend time looking at documents sent to me by my nephews wife who is setting up own counselling practice. I beaver away until a friend calls and we exchange thoughts about how having an ill relative can be challenging and make us realise the difficulties of being adequate. We chat for a while before she breaks off to attend a funereal and I return to the documents. I receive messages from a friend who is waging war on dust in her sewing machine and overlocker. It seems the world is cleaning today.

At lunchtime I send the documents to my nephews wife and sit down to a lunch of soup. Then I get ready to go to the gym. I am not sure about it as I am stiff from yesterdays gardening, but I put my gear in the car and drive to the gym. I change and get up on the gym floor. I get a cross trainer and set off. I’m thinking half an hour will do it for the first session after my break. In the end I go for the full hour burning off 704 calories and going 7.36 kilometres. I am surprised I made it and head for the showers. I can feel my body complaining as I go. A quick shower and I drive straight home without stopping for my usual americano.

I walk in home and find my sister is on the phone talking to my partner. I am instantly relieved. I make a coffee and take over the call. We chat for a while, about all sorts of things and identify one or two things that she cannot find after we cleared up. She is on good form and sounds like she is thriving again. I promise to ring tomorrow about replacing the back door glass. Its time for tea and as I eat I begin to draft the blog. My evening will be partly spent preparing for my motorway awareness course tomorrow. Twelve of us zooming on a motorway speeding course, am I the only one to see the irony in this? So as long as the IT holds up I will keep a clean licence. Once my home work is done I think an early night is in order. This is the first day of trying to get my weight down again. Recently my weight has ballooned to the point where I trained in an ice hockey training top that can only be described as voluminous. It’s back to denial of sugar, more fruit and protein. The gym will be my second home and I feel gym spa days coming up. Sometimes after training when there has been a break from the gym I pass blood immediately after but today this did not happen, I am relieved and know that there is more effort to come. Sleep and drugs for me next.

Sunday, and a lazy start after a tossing and turning night. I make drinks for myself and partner so we can lay and chat before getting up. We have breakfast and then I set about the garden. I spend the day potting plants, weeding, clearing the patio, tying the roses to the screens, cut the front hedges, mending the raised beds and a lot of general maintenance. During the day my partner went to the gym and my eldest daughter went to visit the parrots at the local bird garden. By five o’clock I am done so I feed the hedgehog and retire to the house to soak in a bath bomb bath. I try to ring my sister but there is no response. I take a turn round the garden and take pictures of some of the flowers in the garden.

I finish my bath and start my evening with a meal and then watch the BAFTAs. I ring my sisters neighbours and who reassure me that they had seen her today and that she had received her Amazon parcel. My last act of the day is to watch match of the day and draft the blog.