DVT DAY 290

Boom its Wednesday morning of the 23rd and that means Turkey boy has a bird to collect early from the butchers at the garden centre. So I am up and dressed in a flash (well a slow burn ember really). My partner and I drive off to the garden centre convinced that despite COVID, tier 4 and the southern mutant scourge we thought that there would be a reasonable number of people there. I pull into the car park, deserted. Excellent no other humans about. A quick walk to the exit doors that obligingly open and we head for the butchers. Not a soul anywhere apart from flesh hackers preparing joints and stringing ribs. I hand over the club card receipt and a still fresh in the morning butcher takes it off me and disappears into the chilly behind the scenes world of hung carcasses and piled boxes of dead avian. He reappears with a couple of boxes and taps up the price. We order additional sausages and pay the bill. Shuffling along to the next counter we get sausage rolls, vegetable rolls and a pork pie. We get out before any other humans turn up. So we drive home and stow the crown in the freezer as we wont be going to my partners mother for Christmas day and I take the bird out to the shed to stay cool for the next 36 hours. The rest we stuff into the fridge.

Breakfast of bacon bagel, coffee and drugs before driving off to the local farm shop to get more diary goods. I confidently get there and assess the fact that there are no more parking spaces on the hard standing and with great aplomb, faith in my judgement and proud of my creativity back onto the field adjoining the parking area. All goes well until I try to pull off to get in to the now vacant parking spot. I’m stuck in the mud and nothing I do backwards or forward gets me anywhere. Now its pissing with rain. A bloke comes over to offer help but we cannot move it. He goes off to get help from the farm. It is now throwing it down, we are both soaked with sodden shoes and having trouble to find anything funny in our situation. Eventually some farm workers come and we are able to push it back out of the mud ruts and then drive it up on to the hard standing. Wet, muddy and slightly peeved we do our shopping, top up with fresh milk and then get back in the car. I back out very carefully and get us home, where I strip off in the porch and head for the washing machine. The new food is squirreled away, my washing put on in the machine and then its time for hot chocolate and a scone. I put more stuff away, empty bins and generally get things ready for my daughter and her partners arrival later. It turns out that they decide to come tomorrow after all. I’ve been happily wandering around in my underwear intending to cut my toe nails when I get a text message saying the smoothies that I ordered had been delivered. I go to the door and find… nothing. Not at the back door either. Its a mystery so I check my DPD app and sure enough it says the item has been delivered and there is a photo of it in a porch, the problem being, its not my porch. I check the address and find they have missed me by one number, so now I am forced to put on trousers and plod across the road to the neighbour. The box is still on the porch but has been opened, no lights on, no cars in the drive, I pick it up and liberate it from its abandonment. Home and I unpack the box to find my pouches of goodies. Having popped them in the freezer I can get my trousers off again and cut my toenails, one of those simple pleasures in life. ever since my chemotherapy which thickened my nails I’ve had to be quite rugged with them and take a decent file to one or two of them to keep them in check. In all honesty for me its more like taking a horse to a farrier to have its hoofs trimmed. Only one thing to do after that and that is hoover round every where.

So the washing is done dried and folded to go away, bread made and another loaf on the way, its time to tidy my office end of the sofa, have a beer and write the blog early. I’ve no idea what I am going to do this evening, TV perhaps, banjo perhaps, write perhaps, bath and tarting up perhaps, read or draw perhaps, but now I am hungry and need to eat before whatever I choose to do. Whatever happens tomorrow I will do nothing except indulge myself and my family as we ready ourselves for the great turkey eating.