DVT DAY 276
Wednesday and I get up before 8 o’clock and feeling brighter than I have done over the last couple of days and with a mission to send the parcels I taped up yesterday. So I get myself a bacon bagel and set about using a carrier app on my phone to arrange for my parcels to go. In a few minutes of form filling on my phone and making a credit card payment the result is that barcodes appear on my phone. I drive to my closest pick up shop and I enter into a science fiction moment when I wave my phone with strange square patterns at a man who waves a hand held box at my phone, hands me two numbers and says thank you. I drive off slightly unsure what has just gone on but trust that everything will go well. When I used to have money and handed to people in exchange for goods I felt I knew what I was doing. I understood this was a system of trust, the trust that universally money of whatever kind could be exchanged for goods ay understandable rates. In effect this system of trust was, and maybe still is, universal. My trust that my twenty pound notes would be accepted for groceries was/is exactly the same process by which a terrorist buys weapons. Any way now I juggle numbers in cyberspace and the world moves. Somewhere “my money” sits on a server under the sea or underground in a desert. Lets hope no one switches the power off.
Back home the decorators, who are like a band of elves, are busy wallpapering the lounge and painting the utility area. In fact they have sneaked into the kitchen and begun to paint the ceiling. I retreat to the back bedroom and set up my computer and get ready for my morning meeting. My meeting is full of bright and caring people with ideas and questions, none of us are sure why we are there but we are working on it. That and what it all means.
By lunchtime we are picnicking in the lounge as the elves have taken the kitchen over and turning it blue. I read the paper, do the crosswords and then I get a grip on myself and give myself a good talking to. Its been 18 days since I trained. In those 18 days at least five people have told me that they have read my blog and really admire how I keep training and fighting. I feel I have let myself go, let myself down and all those people who back me. I change into my training gear and head for the shed. Its bloody cold as I climb up on the bike and get to pedaling. I always do the first ten minutes with a training mask on to try and up my lung efficiency. A demanding first ten today. I get to the end of the hour and rapidly get back into the house with its now functioning heating on. The kitchen has turned blue, stunningly so and I like it. The elves have left. I go for a shower feeling the relief of having had training. Feeling brave I weigh myself. 96.3 kilos. I am obese again. I am crushed at the effect of not training for 18 days so I set myself the goal of getting below 95 again and not being obese for Christmas.
By now my family are replacing holiday memorabilia back on our “travel shelf”, its a team effort until I get bored and order three biryani for tea. While we wait for them to arrive I work out how the new office blind gets fitted and the rest of the family clear the dining area. The curries arrive and we pile plates high and watch TV until distracted enough to start searching for a new rug for the lounge. I think the search is doomed after the first fifty. I take to the blog and try to make sense of it all, but end up with a could do better list. Tomorrow I have meetings and an open forum to host. Most important of all is to train and try to keep a sense of balance. I no longer have a place in this house to call my own, my office gone to the person who needs it most, so now a shall shed and sofa surf. A modern day Diogenes and to quote him “No man is hurt but by himself”
