Friday and I wake up quite late after a disturbed night again, a combination of heat, meds and head. Its sunny and hot again as I get my breakfast and settle down to it thinking about what I am going to do for the day. The post man arrives unusually early, I guess he is starting early to avoid the heat of the day, and delivers a treat to me. As I was so taken with the one that was sent to me as a present I have indulged myself and bought a collection of the Moomin books. I have a friend who swears they are philosophy books and not the children’s book they masquerade as. I’m inclined to agree. Of course I Google what order I should read the books in and discover that different people recommend different orders so I decide I will read them in order of publication. So I put the books in order and then label them with numbers so I know where I am.
I realise that some of the stories are missing but hopefully I will fill in the blanks as time goes on. Of course I start reading Comet in Moominland. The morning flies by and I realise I need to exercise. I drive to the gym and go for my second swim of the week. The swimming is a challenge, not so much the swimming, once I am in the pool the feel of water and the ability to swim comes back to me easily. What is difficult is that I cannot hide my body. When I use the gym I am covered up but when I swim the body that I find more and more difficult to live with is exposed. I realise that others may not notice but my misshapen non functioning body but I am very aware of how uncomfortable I feel with a body that I used to have confidence in. A body that I could train, sculpt and keep fit but now the cancer treatment has changed all that. I need the type of exercise that swimming offers me to avoid some of the side effects other forms of exercise at times bring me. So going for a swim is now a challenge an turns me into some one who scuttles out of the pool to shower in a very self conscious way. As part of my swim I always spend 10 minutes in the steam room, a good place to hide. I shower and drive home straight away, no longer do I stop for coffee, food or time to reflect.
Once home I find that a friend has been round to look at the floor in our office and come to the conclusion that the “tile tenting” is not due to any water incursion. I have lunch and ring the friend, who will ring me later. I put chicken in the oven to have with a salad in the evening and then retreat to the garden seat and continue to read. I’m joined by my eldest daughter and we chat about her studies and things in general. Tea time arrives and I watch some European swimming and athletics. I feed the hedgehog. The dishes are empty from last night. That was an adventure as I went out late to feed the hedgehog and found the hog actually in the feeding station, no doubt peeved that the dish was empty. The hog let me take the empty dish and replace it with a full one. I popped the lid back on and left the hog to it. It was the first close up encounter with the hog. Tonight I am earlier so there is no sign of the hog apart from the empty food dishes. I return in doors, clear the kitchen and draft the blog well into the evening. I return to my new books and wend my way towards the evening meds and bed.
