Saturday, and I wake up and process my blood results which I gathered after midnight last night. I did not sleep well as a result.

Overall, they are reasonable. The increased Urea is slightly raised and reflects either too much protein or not enough hydration, so drinking water and staying hydrated will sort that. I’ve been there before, and it has always responded to hydration. My eGFR or kidney function although below the normal 60 level is good for me at 57 given my history of kidney failure in 2019, so I am cool about it and think that it is okay. The real kicker is the rising PSA from 0.8 to 1.6 in four months. It is flagged as an alert on the results platform. I’m disappointed but at root I knew that sooner or later this was likely to happen. It makes my review on Tuesday more “sharp”. We will certainly have something to talk about. One thing that has surprised me is my rise in platelets to 171 a rise of 22. It’s been a while since I’ve so comfortably been in the normal range for this, no idea why.

I watch some women’s world cup rugby, eat the bacon sandwich my partner makes for me and drink fresh coffee. I draft the first section of the blog and get myself up for the ordinary of the day like shopping for vegetables and more bacon. I feel myself withdrawing and processing so I may or may not add to this day’s blog or not.

My day was quiet as I felt my way through the feelings about my blood results and the rising PSA level. It’s a difficult time, I am anxious, more anxious than I usually am, and I find myself rereading information about my treatment. If my medication has stopped working, then there needs to be a rethink. The problem I have is that I am not sure I trust the oncology service to pick this up with any sense of urgency. I am also frustrated and angry with myself for losing my exercise and diet discipline. Yet again I must start out again and focus on reducing my weight. Tomorrow I will weigh in and then move on.