Friday, this was a day of preparation in readiness for the visit of my youngest daughter, her partner and their son, my youngest grandson. It is all very prosaic stuff like cleaning, washing wrangling and shopping. Mundane but necessary, which always takes longer than hoped for and is more tiring than it ought to be. So be the time the house and fridge are visitor ready the evening is one of para Olympics and TV before a retreat to bed and the hope of sleep. I take my night meds and affix my nasal strip in the hope that I shall beat off my recent insomnia. Is it a real effect or a placebo, I ‘ve no idea, just want to sleep better.
Saturday and I have slept better, my partner is already up and preparing things for the arrival of our guests. Cars are moved and food prepared. I make a breakfast and then wait. The post man delivers and there is a letter for me from a friend who has read the blog and comments on my latest brush with the nhs in a sympathetic and witty way. Our guests arrive and the house is instantly transformed by the presence of a small person who can now haul himself up to a standing position, as a consequence many items are immediately elevated by at least three feet. The day is spent playing and eating and having conversations that only families with young can have. Activities are fluid as the entertainment and wonder is constantly changing. It is amazing what one rapidly developing new universe can have on an entire family. People dip in and out, take rests and take turns but some how everyone contributes in some way. At a magical point in the evening the young one goes to cot and the adults, with one ear on the baby monitor watch a film together and then one by one drift off to bed. I am left to watch the football high lights, but I do not get the end, I take my meds strap on another nasal strip and go to bed reflecting that my diet today has not been the best, but I seem to fall asleep.
Sunday arrives, its the first of September and my partner’s mothers birthday and the plan is that we will surprise her with an afternoon party. Cakes and goodies are ready. I wake and do my vitals, that are good, and I am treated to a bacon sandwich in bed before I get up and get party ready. My youngest daughter is asleep with her son draped across her on the recliner in the lounge, I am guessing that sleep may have been interrupted last night. My own sleep seems to have been better, perhaps the magic nasal trips are doing something after all. It will take a few more nights to know. I suspect that not taking angina meds that give me a blinding headache and having a rest from my cancer pills maybe, just maybe, giving my body a rest. I am still very fatigued but that I can understand and find ways to cope with. As everyone is taking the opportunity to rest while my youngest grandson is asleep I try to catch up with the blog. Of course much of the last two days has passed my short term memory by and my long term pixies have not bothered to pick them up, I just assume that anything crucial would have been snatched out of the daily stream of the mundane and carefully stored. That’s probably a dangerous assumption but I cannot possibly know or remember what I never remembered in the first place. I guess that is how fantasy comes about in part, thinking you remember something that you never did.
The afternoon is spent amongst family celebrating my partners mothers 96th birthday. There are small children to a great grand mother all together being who they are. There is cake and conversation, a lot of catching up, sharing of recent history and requests. I am asked to sign one of my books, that comes as a surprise. So the afternoon goes by, and there are some lovely moments of children clapping fairies, falling over to find a soft spot on the lawn, and general exploring and making new contact with new members of the family. Eventually people drift away and I help clear up the debris before heading home. Once home there is a film to watch and then onto the para Olympics, where the Brits actually start to win medals at the athletics. I am now tired and will drift towards bed, but before going there is something to add to todays blog, which is important to me.
TODAY IS THE FIFTH ANNIVERSARY OF THIS BLOG ! For five years now I have written this blog to help keep family and friends up to date with what has been going on with me and my battle with metastatic prostate cancer and all the other adventures along the way. It started with a welcome and the experience of my pre chemotherapy induction day. There were no pictures or videos just a description of the experience. As I got more blogging skills I was able to add more content. The very first picture was of a sharps bin that I was presented with on the first day of chemotherapy.
Over the years the blog has developed into a running commentary on my life containing all sorts of things I did not predict but also testament to the mundanity of everyday life that accompanies the day to day life of living with prostate cancer. It is true that I have experienced things I thought I would not live to see that have given me immense pleasure and there have been moments of grimness, but overall this blog has chronicled my appreciation of being alive and kicking. To all of you who have read my blog, whether regularly or just dipping in now and again I want to thank you all. Knowing that even if there has been only one person who has looked at my blog on any given day has been an immense support to me, especially on the more dark days when I wondered if it was worth it. So even now in this period of fatigue knowing that someone has been to the blog and perhaps just caught up with where I am or got an idea for their next read or a film to watch, even to read the occasional poem is motivation enough to continue to write the blog. I hope I shall be able to write this blog for a long time to come and that you are kind enough to visit it at times. Once again, thank you.
