Saturday and its party day. Today is the day that my partners mother is having her 93rd birthday party. So after a croissant breakfast the family, including my youngest daughter and her fiance, pack the cars with finger rolls, chocolate cake and nibbles. When my partners brother arrives we drive off to surprise the birthday party girl. It all goes to plan, we arrive, other family members arrive, we prepare the spread and settle into party mode. We are taken aback to hear from the carer that the party girl had had one of her turns last evening which meant calling out the para medic for a check over. Party girl did not want to go to hospital to be checked again and signed a waiver to stay put. We party on with one of my nephew’s son demonstrating very good IT skills on his “big blue telephone”, which was in fact a tablet. His generation is growing up in a vastly different world than I did but then I guess that is always the way for each generation. He does however swim, climb and do karate so I guess the physical element is still there for many of the young still. There is candle blowing, cake cutting and strawberry and cream indulgence as there are multiple conversations between family members as we catch up with each other. Its a typical family gathering, generation on generation and that unspoken recognition of blood and connection. Somehow we are inter connected but it is not always obvious how this works,its more of an identification and an acknowledgements of the obligations between us.
It comes time to pack away the goodies and to load up the cars again to depart. We say our farewells and return home. I drop my partners brother home and return to a quiet house thinking about an evening meal. We settle on fish and chips from the local chippy and having indulged the family settles down in the lounge to watch “Rhapsody” the story of Queen and Freddie Mercury. Brilliantly acted and of course the music was excellent. I did make me wonder if Freddie Mercury was in fact a bi sexual who like many get told they are gay and are not allowed to be themselves by those around them. I guess there will be no knowing. The family drift off to bed and I watch the Guardians of the Galaxy, mainly to reacquaint myself with Rocket the my mental avatar for the fight against my cancer. A reassembled Racoon with violent and antisocial tendencies who fights unreservedly. I chose well.
Sunday and its up with coffee and a weigh in. Its another disaster; 95.5 kilos, an increase in weight. I really must get a grip of my food intake and exercise. We go to the garden centre to buy vegetables and chicken for lunch today. Once home we have a bagel breakfast and set about our lazy Sunday morning. I have a long chat with my eldest daughter about the aggravations of work and study and then scrabble about in the loft to retrieve our old but very solid plastic suitcases. They and some packing cases are going back with my youngest and her fiance to aid them in their preparation for moving into their new home when their new house finally goes thorough. The process is gradually getting there. In no time at all its time for lunch, a Sunday special. We sit on the patio in rare and welcome sunshine, eating and chatting. Its another good family day when plans for the future get shared and discussed. Its a big lunch and requires a lazy coffee to assist digestion and more time to talk. Eventually the youngest’s fiance takes on the challenge of packing all the borrowed suitcases into the small Toyota Aygo (named Hero). To collective amazement he succeeds and we go out to admire his work and wave them good bye. In my head I think I should train but I am feeling lethargic and listless and will content myself with poisoning weeds on the patio before watching England play a world cup qualifying football match and then Vigil, the latest BBC Sunday night drama. Tomorrow I need to get my head straight, write the words that are filling me up and train. I have to find the energy from somewhere to be consistent in my training and my diet. It feels like everything is distant, slipping out of reach, like the swimmer working against the tide which will not turn. Now is the time, this is the instant to defy the odds, to focus and do the work that makes hope possible.
