CYCLE 2 DAY 8
Today has been ordinary. Hurray for an ordinary day. It seems the first seven days of the chemo cycle are the worst. The tiredness and disrupted digestion seem to settle by day 8 and I begin to do the mundane with less effort. I have time to notice things like the butterfly above that visited the garden today. I lazed this morning watching the rugby world cup without a hint of doing it to rest but because I wanted to. The same applied to finishing off the “Jamaica” paper work and getting it sent off. The trip to the post office allowed me to visit my garage and enquire for the third time where the replacement radio aerial was for my Suzuki Jimmny. The garage owner duly rang the supplier and had is intelligence insulted with yet another bullshit story about a German supplier and warehouse problems, but he was of course promised that it would be with him tomorrow. We both laughed and agreed a phone call if by some miracle it actually happened.
Having chatted to the man who helps with our garden a few hours a week I visited the local garden centre and bought violas to fill the gaps that had been created by the “autumn tidy up”. Whilst wandering around the garden centre I remembered that I said I would get some eggs and there serendipitously were some local farm eggs. These eggs were truly huge, but billed as large. They dwarf any egg labelled large in the local Sainsburys. I am beginning to believe that there is an egg conspiracy to make the public think that medium to small eggs are large. A kind of gastronomic gaslighting. I can’t wait for tomorrows egg sandwich breakfast.
Apart from this I have done little, apart from a brief visit to the shed to write a letter and to reply to some WhatsApp messages. My evening as been all sport and idleness apart from now when I write this and wonder what on earth I have to say about today. I’ve seem to perform tasks like the washing, the organising of gym kit, loading the dishwasher and general house maintenance as a set of subliminal tasks that get woven into what ever else it is I think I a doing. It feels a bit like being a computer where I do things on screen but in the background unseen sub routines are performed. Its the equivalent of having my discs defragmented somewhere below consciousness. A lot of what I do seems to be geared to making sure that the future plans an commitments can happen smoothly. What is obvious of course is how much this is now related to my cancer. Hospital appointments, drug stores full, work and social events woven into the chemo cycle so that they are most likely to happen as planned. It is this balancing that I pay attention to in order to keep a direction and the goals I have in focus. So its nice when a day is like today, ordinary. In the evening the ordinary gives time to look up and see stars and to have time and space to think that there maybe more time than I thought to go on being curious and making meaning of all this stuff.
