CHEMO DAY 29

CYCLE 2 DAY 7

Today was not only the first day without an injection but one where a sliver of hope for a better prostate cancer treatment in the future was reported.

As always its difficult to know just how much truth there is in any report and whether it is applicable to myself. However its going to be on the agenda to discuss with my oncologist the next time we meet. I am informed by my partner that my oncologist is a specialist in the area in which this drug works, so it could be an interesting conversation or a game of dodge the question. We will see.

After a longer nights sleep I got up to find that the usual butler tasks had been left to me in the wake of the rest of the household dashing off to work. Included in the “nudged” tasks were the claims forms for both the insurance company from our holiday in Jamaica ( the one where my kidneys failed) and the financial ombudsman. So I spent my day filling in forms and trying to dig out of all the papers, correspondence and the information required by the forms. Of course this included medical reports on me at the time and rekindled some of the stuff that I had locked away for “later”. I am still not very articulate about some of that experience in March/April of this year, perhaps some pictures might help.

  • Dialysis Jamaican style
  • Ice cream and Pizza
  • Canada’s finest pizza house

Going back to the paperwork brought stuff back but mostly the things I said I would make and effort to remember and do something with or about. I’ve not touched the list since being investigated or diagnosed with cancer. They are all the things that I said I would remember and either write about or act on. The most guilt producing are the people I said I would remember and contact. The list is below, I include it in the hope that it will spur me into action and begin to make good some of my intentions. I wrote this in hospital when I had returned to England.

  1. Mathew ( a visually impaired young man who took dangerous work to pay for his dialysis.)
  2. Junior Stickler, a dialysis assistant who was perpetual motion and made the dialysis suite work so smoothly.
  3. Nurse Hall. Just the best nurse possible.
  4. Soft mints. Dispensed by a woman in the dialysis unit, which kept me going through the hours of dialysis.
  5. The taste if bitter lemon at the Jamaican airport on the way home. The first distinctive taste I had in weeks.
  6. Sitting by a dialysis machine, watching my life blood being pumped round.
  7. Gander airport in Canada where I got pizza and ice cream.
  8. Pissing cola. That shock of seeing what was coming out of me when I first became ill at the hotel.
  9. Catheters. The experience of a catheter being put into me for the first time. Third time lucky in the middle of the night.
  10. Pineapple. I lived on it for days, along with plain chicken and mashed potato. Its all I could tolerate.
  11. The not being able to eat.
  12. Showering. The whole performance with an IV drip, catheter and Dracula valves in my neck.
  13. Learning to use my left hand when I went to the toilet. Who knew that it was so tricky.
  14. Messages and kindness.
  15. My friend Drew’s WhatsApp messages and videos.
  16. Jam portions that were bad, with mould growing on them in the hospital.
  17. The northern lights. A spectacular display as we flew from Canada to Iceland in the air ambulance.
  18. Dr Yeats burgundy shirt. Very stylish doctor.
  19. Nurse Halls nails, works of art.
  20. The ambulance ride to the dialysis centre. Blues and twos at reckless speeds.
  21. Chicken and mash
  22. Decodia Walker a nurse of great patience and kindness.
  23. The tiredness.
  24. Veins. The search and puncture of veins. ( It appears somethings do not change)
  25. The moon over Iceland

Eventually I completed the forms and was able to package one of them up ready for the post office, the other just needs my partner to sign and a couple of e-mails and letters to be dug out and copied. The claim for the insurance company was duly posted and recorded on the way to the gym. The gym was hard this evening, I had to lower the resistance on the machine half way through but I managed my hour and my calorie target of over 700 calories. So returning home via the chippy I have tucked in to my chicken and chips with gusto and feel all the better for it. The last task of the day is of course to write this. One thing I should mention for completeness is that I suspect my fingers are beginning to feel slightly numb. I know that this is a well known chemo side effect but I’m not sure if its real or if all the typing I’m doing is something to do with it. It seems to me that it is one of those “wait and see” things. So another day of being okay, which is good. I’m hoping that I shall just get stronger and feel better now for the rest of the cycle.