DVT DAY 333

Thursday the 4th of February; World Cancer Day.

I would add more but for technical reasons, like the website techno cannot handle PDF images I would show more pretty pictures. But I am one of 48.3 million who are stil alive within 5 years of being diagnosed. If we all held hands we would circle the earth.

So a brief breakfast and straight to the sofa to ready myself for a meeting at 10 o’clock. It was a difficult start as a colleague who had just heard her mother had been taken to A&E needed to leave. A difficult day for her. We remaining colleagues continued with the meeting. At the end of it I had time for a quick lunch before hosting my regular Open Forum. It was a session that painted a picture of growing risks for both workers and clients as the COVID pandemic contiues to sweep through services. It is like watching outbreaks poping up all over the place . It was described to be like the fair ground game of “wack a mole”.

My open forum came to an end and I quickly changed into my training gear and headed for the shed for an hour on the bike. A tough session but needed. When it gets tough I just remind myself that this is my medicine, its not a luxury, its a necessity.

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I head to the house and strip off quickly, grab a drink and settle in front of my laptop to attend a webinar. Its the Royal College of Psychiatrists Presidents lecture and is being given by someone I know. Overcoming Fear was the key tittle and reflected on how the work on group behaviour by monkeys has a link to human behaviour especially in how as a group we are dealing with COVID. There was a clear message that the nhs needs to be recognised to be in need of over haul and a focus on relationships reinstated. There was a final question section and then it was time for me to clear the kitchen. I had just got started when a friend rang and we had the chance to chat for a while. The calls are very welcome but we both miss the time when conversations were not constrained by time and could be those glorious rambling journeys that range over ideas, opions and curiosity for what makes meaning in the world. At the end I return to the kitchen to finish my clearing and to help with the evening meal. While my partner prepares for her weekly singing lesson I settle down to a football match until Murder in Paradise comes on the TV.

Once my evening entertainment is over I write the blog. Today has been a long day and one that feels full of emotion. The theme of distress and struggle seems to have been the major experience of the day. It underscores the struggle that is going on, not just the physical fears associated with COVID and all the tenticles that spread from it but also the emotional wrestling to make meaning out of the current situation. It is becoming increasingly difficult to create the space to slow down and to think reasonably and rationally and when there is there are an increasing fissures in the community to try to make sense of.

Tomorrow I am due to go for a blood test at the GP in readiness for my oncology appointment next Tuesday. It is that day when I should get to know how much my cancer has progressed. Two days later I will find out if I am going to be discharged from the DVT clinic, reasons to be cheerful. So I sit here drinking large amounts of water to counter the darkening of my urine post exercise and to ensure my bloods are as normal as possible in the morning. Exciting eh? Thats the reality of my World Cancer Day. However compared to many I am beyond fortunate, I am alive and loved, what more could I want?