Today is a day with things to look forward to. The gym will be in there, and Sunday has traditoinally been the “heavy” day so it will be interesting to see how it goes. I am also expecting a new Kindle to arrive, a brand new one without levers and a slow keyboard. In theory the new one will be water proof so prolonged bathes of a literary nature are on the agenda.
However all this excitement will come after the usual chores of having breakfast and tidying up the home environment. I spend time gathereing together some new images for the blog and thinking about what I might write for the day. In looking through other peoples sites related to cancer and the general literature I noted how often the term “Fuck Cancer” in one form or another appears. In fact it appears you can fuck cancer in an inordinate number of ways: books, journals, posters, colouring books , pictures and poems.
What interests me is not only the defiance but also the anger that seems to be imbedded in the intent. Is cancer fuckable is one question I ask. I think not. Is it defeatable by an act of defiance and anger, again I do not think so. Everything I have read tells me that cancer is clever and adaptable. Above all it is routed in a level of cell biology that’s complex and in its own way rather beautiful and wonderous as many of the less appealing things in nature are. The complicated mechanism of cell division and how the normal process deviates at so many levels is fascinating. I cannot help thinking being angery with it is going to do anything as like all things in nature it is completely disinterested in my humanity or what I might think, its just going to get on with it. What makes a difference is all the hours of curious science and trial and error that has gone in to makeing sense of the mechanisms and learning how to counter act the processes. The torturous path from Yew tree bark juice to the sophisticated drug that is being pumped into me is what will give me, perhaps, more time for me to continue to try and make sense of the thing I will ultimately lose. I am not sure why but I’ve not been overwhelmed by anger, its not the way I feel about cancer.
All this “Fuck cancer” reminds me of the comedian Lenny Bruce. He did a session once in which he questioned why people said “fuck you” to people they wanted to hurt or abuse. He argued that this was all wrong. Fucking is nice he argued so what we should really be doing is indicating that we hoped that the object/person of our scorn did not experience the joys of fornication. His solution was to shout loudly “Unfuck you” so perhaps we should be proclaiming “unfuck you cancer”.
That’s the sort of stuff my mind does on a Sunday morning before going to the gym, which went very well. I appear to be maintaining my weight and the ability to burn about a thousand calories a session. I appear to have lost some upper body strength so I shall dust off the dumbells in the garage and do a bit each day to try and build it back up.
The new Kindle had arrived by the time I got home from the gym. Mysteriously all went very well from switching it on to the point where all my old kindle books appeared on the new one. I was gratified that it went so easily and look forward to taking it to my next chemo session in a few days time. Are there suggestions for good chemo reading?
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Currently it appears like WordPress is the best blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?
Yes I am using WordPress, it can create issues with plugins when it updates. I lost my stats plugin and had to put a new one in. I am finding it quicker to type stuff in Word and pasting it into the blog. The spell checker is more effective and consistent. Each paragraph goes into a separate block automatically in WordPress which is really useful if you want to put images or imbed materials between paragraphs. Hope this is helpful.
Kind regards
Roland
Wow! Thank you! I always needed to write on my blog something like that. Can I include a portion of your post to my site?
Hello Hairstyles,
I’m pleased you found it u8seful, please feel free to use what you want for your webpage.
Kind regards
Roland