A sunny morning, hurray. Breakfast and yesterdays newspaper in which I find the above article about a fellow prostate cancer person. I note with interest that this mans team were able to tell him what his life expectancy was likely to be. Having seen the television programme about this man and caught a glimpse of his bone scan, it was pretty solid black and yet he gets a guess at ten to eighteen years. I have three spots on my lower spine and a PSA of 0.4, so how long do I get. As the man in the article says he is likely to die with cancer and not from cancer, something I was told early on in my journey into prostate cancer club land.
I have frequently said that my sense of time has become like those waxy Dali clocks but a friend posted an image of a dandelion clock in response to another friends loss. It struck a chord with me as time being subject to random winds that remove parts of the clock, the self.
In my position the best is to hope for windless days and at best a gentle breeeze. Maybe this is why I dislike the recent cold and windy weather so much.
The rest of my day has seen me finally finding a taxi firm to take us to the airport in ten days time and tidying up the office before going to the gym. I get to the gym and full of enthusiasm get into the changeing rooms to find that I have a towel and no kit. I resort to coffee and a snickers as I wait for my partner to finish training. I watch foorball and then we return home. I start to organise my coming week and discover that I have not confirmed my 28 day injection for tomorrow! This coupled with my recent habit of forgeting my daily medication is an interesting development. Perhaps I am unconsciouly pretending to be well and avoiding the reality of my situation, although as I indicated above I am not sure what the reality of my situation is. I do know that when I weighed myself for my once a week weigh in I was pleasantly surprised given the jelly bean intake this week. I came in under 100 kilos which surprised me but has given me impetus to make a pre holiday effort to reduce my weight a bit more. Actually its my waist line I need to attack to get the bulk of my wardrobe to fit again.
Home and I settle to write the blog and think about my week ahead. Its a busy one with a therapeutic community review, a meeting in London and preparation for the holiday the following week. I might get to see a friend but I will see how things go. So dinner in front of TV and a quiet evening is the order of the end of my day.
