Wednesday finds me waking up feeling tired, but I am not sure why. My partner brings me a hot water before going to the gym for an aqua class. I struggle to get myself up, its a strange feeling, I’ve no explanation for it, some days are just like this. The big step of the morning is to get myself going and to get up. I am not depressed I just lack energy. When I find myself like this I write just to get something externalised and out of my head. It saves me time and time again. So I write what ever comes to mind, today it was this.

569
Hypnotised by lethargy
my head knows the way 
but the body just stands.
Its like being sabotaged 
from the inside 
like some insidious parasite.
It makes everything an effort
even thinking about 
some action is stunted
in its growth.
Doing anything is a
major campaign
So life is a war
waged against a self enemy
hidden away like a terrorist
motivated by paralysis
and denial of life.
Written late morning
in bed, my only response 
is to pull on kit
and row.
It appears mindlessness
is my only weapon.

                                                    569 04-11-2026

Having written I get up and into my training kit. I make breakfast and take my morning meds and make my way to the garage and the rower. I strap in and set the session for 30 minutes. I get going and once again have Sophie Ellis Bexter’s Kitchen Disco in my ears. Its a hell of a session every pull is an effort and it does not ease. I am just pleased to stop at the end of the session time. The data on the monitor tells me everything I need to know. Its a very poor distance and is the equivalent of three minutes slower than Mondays session. So my body has not lied to me this morning.

I retreat to the lounge where I find I have an Amazon delivery. The sanding mouse I ordered has arrived so of course I unpack it and check it works. I feel I can tackle the stair rails and posts that need to be rubbed down and repainted. There will be a test on a small area first but if all goes well then it will be full speed ahead, or at least “steady as she goes”. So having dumped the packaging and brought the bins in I set about drafting the blog.

My partner returns from the gym and the household goes into rest and admin mode. After a while My partner and I walkdown to the village shop collecting my latest prescription from the pharmacy. Having collected our food in the co-op we jostled our way through the flood of school children who had been released from the local academy to pay for our goodies. Once home I settle down to do the days crosswords. Then suddenly it is early evening and I am watching an early evening football match. I do not make it through the second match and switch to watching celebrity race across the world. For once the evening news is worth watching as it reports the American midterm elections where the Democrats have pulverised Trumps Republicans. For the first time in a long time reasonable, rational and kind Americans have flexed their democratic muscles and drawn a line of what is acceptable and what is not. I take my evening meds, return to the blog and then take myself of to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will find me with more energy as I try out my new sanding mouse, train and prepare to drive to my youngest daughters for the weekend.