Wednesday and a day of torrential rain but also the day that my partners mother moved to her new care home, so at last she is somewhere safe and caring and not in a hospital. I of course got up late and spent most of my day finishing reading (what a luxury) Before I knew I Loved You, the sixth book in the Before The Coffee Gets Cold, by Toshikazu Kawaguchi. It is a lovely book and he keeps finding ways for people to travel forwards or backwards in time without changing the present. It is typically Japanese in sensitivity and delicate handling of emotions.
By mid afternoon I had finished the book and turned to the Queens Club tennis tournament for entertainment. So I watched two players slugged it out until rain stopped play, by which time my partner has returned home from seeing her mother into her new care home.
In the evening my partner wen tout with a friend for a meal and left me to do a Tesco order and to watch the last friendly football game England were due to play before the World Cup starts properly tomorrow. The kick off was delayed by an hour till 10 o’clock due due to the huge thunder storms in Florida, after which England won 3-0 against Costa Rica. It was midnight before the last kick of the game by which time I was ready to down my meds and get off to bed.
Thursday and I wake up knowing that today the world cup starts and my giant wall chart will need to be got out and activated. My partner goes off to the physio after bringing me a hot a hot water. I check my messages and news feeds before tasking my vitals. They are average, which is okay for me. When I finally get up I head for the shower, noting on the way that the heating had come on, so not only is it throwing it down with rain but the temperature had dropped markedly as well. I do not expect the heating to come on in June! Feeling clean and refreshed I cook myself a cheese omelette and tomatoes, take my meds and start on some life admin. Fiddly little jobs like checking the stray lotto ticket and paying the window cleaner by BACS. They all take time and are all inconsequential, unless of course the lotto ticket is a winner and the window cleaner is not suing you for non payment. Its amazing how “little things” can become monstrous for the lack of attention. Once again it teems with rain meaning that the tennis is delayed, so I start to draft the blog for yesterday and today. There is a final Tesco order to be done and organising for the visit of my youngest daughter and her family at the weekend. It seems that there is quite a lot to do before I get to watch the first world cup football match this evening and begin to use my giant world cup wall chart.
In reflective mood I was thinking about the course of my cancer experience and had the sense that this has been going on for a while with all its changes of medication and fallow times so I returned to looking at all the phases the blog has been through that reflect this process. There have been some prolonged periods of relatively good wellness and other periods where what was to happen next was in the balance. This current period of rechallenge is 192 days long, during which my PSA has been going down, so a reasonable period of success against the disease, but in which I have suffered more physically than since my original chemotherapy. So it seems I have to calculate the balance between how I am physically and what gain there is to be had from further chemo rechallenge. The PSA level as measured by Mondays blood tests will give me some idea.
BLOG PHASES AND DURATION IN DAYS
WELCOME ALL: 01 SEP 201 TO 01 SEP 2019 1 DAY
INDUCTION DAY: 02 SEP 2019 TO 02 SEP 2019 1 DAY
CHEMO DAY: 04 SEPT 2019 TO 05 JAN 2020 120 DAYS
FINGERS CROSSED PHASE: 07 JAN 2020 TO 23 MAR 2020 77 DAYS
AS GOOD AS IT GETS PHASE 1: 24 MAR 2020 TO 08 FEB 2021 322 DAYS
AS GOOD AS IT GETS PHASE 2: 10 FEB 2020 TO 21 DEC 2021 315 DAYS
ANTIANDROGEN: 22 DEC 2021 TO. 22 FEB 2022 63 DAYS
AS GOOD AS IT GET AGAIN: 23 FEB 2022 TO 31 OCT 2022 251 DAYS
ROCKET: 01 NOV 2022 TO 21 DEC 2022 51 DAYS
ROCKET BOOSTER: 22 DEC 2022 TO 06 MAR 2023 42 DAYS
RUN UP TO RADIO THERAPY: 07 MAR 2023 TO 17 MAY 2023 72 DAYS
NO MANS LAND: 18 MAY 2023 TO 29 MAY 2023 12 DAYS
REARMAMENT: 30 MAY 2023 TO 07 JUNE 2023 12 DAYS
REARMED: 08 JUN 2023 TO 09 JUN 2023 2 DAYS
CHEMO II: 10 JUN 2023 TO 18 AUG 2024 435 DAYS
ANGINA ADVENTURE: 19 AUG 2024 TO 25 SEP 2024 38 DAYS
CHEMO II THE RETURN: 26 SEP 2024 TO 13 APRIL 2025 199 DAYS
MOVING ON: 14 APRIL 2025 TO 16 SEPT 2025 155 DAYS
WITH A DASH OF STEROIDS: 17TH SEPT 2025 TO 12 NOV 2025 57 DAYS
STICKY WICKET: 13TH NOV 2025 TO 01 DEC2025 19 DAYS
CHEMO RECHALLENGE: 02 DEC 2025 TO today (11-06-2026) 192 DAYS
TOTAL BLOG DAYS TO DATE:11th June 2026 2476 (6 years 9 months 11 days)
I guess it will depend on how I view the balance and what I consider my priority, quality of life or longevity. Somewhere in there I am hoping for a sweet spot.
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The evening arrives and I settle down after tea and watch the long drawn out opening ceremonies of the World cup. It takes hours to get to the actual first game, Mexico v South Africa. With football over for the day I take my meds and head for bed. Tomorrow is a chore day in readiness for the visit of my youngest daughter and her family
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