Its a big day today as my eldest is going for a job interview. More than one reason for me to cross my fingers today. I am feeling quite lively as today I go north to prepare for a a meeting tomorrow in Leeds and I have fish tank repairs to do. So its out of bed for me, into the empty house and grab my meusli and yogurt breakfast before setting about my fish tank repairs. I realise once I start the process of replacing the water pumps that I have not got any piping for the replacements and the old tubes are not suitable. So its off to the garden centre with its fish shop to get the needed tubing. Once there I find what I want easily and I also find the butchers and buy sliced ham and turkey. These help my high protein diet as I snack on cold meats. I resist the temptation to visit the cafe and indulge in hot chocolate, there will be time for that later. Home and I find post that includes an appointmentn letter for “he who made a pact with the devil” , my oncologist, for the 24th of March. This means the “Fingers Crossed” stage has a definite end to it. I set about replacing the pumps, which goes quite smoothly. I decide that only one pump is required at this stage so I will monitor the state of the tank for a while and check that one is enough, but obvioiusly I think it is. The tank now runs blissfully quietly.

Once done I tidy away and check the routes I am going to be taking today and tomorrow and run off the directions. Although my car has a sat nav it can sometimes lead me astray so I always take my back up directions with me. Its proved to have been crucial on soem occasions. So I head north along a route a know well and arive at the hotel by the end of the afternoon missing the end of work rush and the darkness of evening. I get a message that says my daughter got the job and I send a congratulatory message only to recieve a meassage back from younger daughter to say it is she who has the new job. I had assumed it was my eldest who had sent the first message. So my youngest has moved up the career ladder of where she works and gained promotion. Proud father describes me. I will be unbearable if it goes so well for my eldest. Tonight I shall dine and then read Early Riser till I fall asleep, which in these circumstances tends to be quite rapid.

As I drove north I suddenly realised that I had forgotten I was going to die. I remembered that I had not completed typing up my poems, which was one of my must do projects on my things to do before I die list. A list that I had set about with some purpose once I had been diagnosed with cancer. It was almost as if I had slipped into my old self not expecting to die for years and bobbing along with a causual disregard for the possibilty of death. I suppose the ending of chemo and this period of just waiting and seeing had lulled me somewhat. So apart from doing my tax return pretty quickly and sealing the civil partnership, the typing up of my poems has returned to my priority list. I need to nudge myself occassionaly to do this and must make an effort to complete this project soon.