Sunday passed me by pretty much, I know there was football, food and flowers in the garden. Monday was little different apart from a bad gut. The overwhelming sense of the last couple of days has been one of fatigue brought about by discomfort. It feels a bit like a desert land, long expanses of arid dry sand with no life in it but I am sure that there were meaningful oasis of brain food and stimulation. It always seems the way of things that it is at these times that bloody EON want to hassle me to have an energy meter and the Americans keep asking me about producing an audio book of one or all of my currently published collection. There are lessons to be learnt as well. For example the benefits of having slip on slippers that do no need me to bend down to get my heel into them are a real luxury and make life that little bit easier. I am very aware that people are getting on with life around me while I feel that I am stuck in the pit lane while the mechanics tinker with my engine and change my fluid levels, or at the very least I have pulled into a service station and found that I cannot get back on the motorway to continue my journey. The biggest issue is the inability to concentrate for any length of time and to be as creative and adaptive as I usually am. I think the normal me would be drawing faces on my leg bag and thinking up names for it, like Koala Piss Pouch or Pissy McPiss Bag but I seem not to be inspired. The restriction that I feel is there is noticeable when I think about writing so I may go for making something on audio again. The desperate element of all this is how my energy just falls off the edge of the cliff in the evening yet despite this when I get to bed I have trouble getting to sleep. There is a lot going on in my head about the anxieties of how the removal of the catheter will go on Friday. Its the day before my birthday and for the removal to go well would be the best possible birthday present. I long to get back into normal non lounge clothes and to go out and to be able to drive comfortably. Most of all I want to be able to get back on the rower and get myself on the road to fitness again. I’m desperate to get rid of the weigh that I have gained and to restore some basic fitness.
Its Tuesday and my partner has gone to work so I have a slow waking and lazy rising. Eventually I get up about 10:30 and make breakfast, which gets eaten to a background of the TV news and then Wimbledon. Felling slightly more chipper I clear the kitchen and then begin to draft the blog, having not been able to get into my website yesterday due to a technical problem at the providers end. By lunch time I have caught up and begin to plan for the rest if the day. I have a burst of energy and mend the broken foot on the patio table, (super glue and gaffer tape of course) and then I check my car will start without lighting up fault lights. To my relief my car starts up and is in good fettle. While I am on a roll I put the bins out or tomorrows collection. Next on my list is a shower. Its a high energy sapping activity especially when I include a good hair washing given the length of my hair now. By the time I’ve had my shower got dried and sort out I am out of spoons. Feeling fresh and clean I return to the recliner in the lounge.
Just as I am settling into resting a friend rings and I am able to have a chat. We catch up with how we both are and how our families are. Its a pleasure to be able to talk to someone who is not in my household, it helps to keep my situation in perspective. My partner returns from work and we move into the evening watching a football match, eating and then watching all the remaining episodes of S.W.A.T available on Netflix. By the end of the evening I’ve nothing left except to finish off todays draft blog and to take my night meds before heading for bed, having gone through my pre-sleep routines. I’ve just got two and a half days and I will hopefully be free of this bloody catheter, and all the paraphernalia and discomfort that comes with it.
