Tuesday and I am up at 5:50 am after a difficult night. I sit sipping hot water and trying to gain my composure. I eat breakfast and take my meds and continue to try and rest. My partner goes to work and soon after the builder badgers arrive in what looks like changeable weather. I make coffee for the badgers and then return to resting. I get myself together and empty the dishwasher before deciding to type a letter to a friend. It is a slow process and takes me a long time. Midway through this letter some one rings up to book me in for an upgraded energy meter, he got very short shift and told it wasn’t happening. I return to my letter. Its a simple lunch of soup and then more letter writing.
My grim bladder stone symptoms continue during the morning so there are several interruptions requiring me to rest and recover each time. My letter is finished, enveloped and finally sealed ready to go. There will be no going to the post office today, perhaps tomorrow. Out of the blue I get a phone call from the general hospital they tell me I am booked in for my operation on Monday the 17th at 07:15 in the morning and I am booked in on Friday the 14th at 2pm to have my pre operation assessment. No sooner than the call is over than I get a text with a link to a pre operation assessment questionnaire, which they warn will take between 30 and 60 minutes. I get stuck into it. It takes so long to do that I am still doing it when my partner returns from work. As I finish the questions, Tesco delivers to be followed immediately by the flooring guy to look at the office floor. He takes one look and says he cannot do it and leaves. No sooner had there been this flurry of activity when my partners friend and house guest arrives and notes just how changed the front drive is. My daughter goes to the cinema and short after my partner and friend go out for a meal.
Alone I start the blog and make myself tea before watching the women’s football international on TV. I am trying not to think about the reality of the up coming operation now it is a reality. It will be a full anaesthetic and a couple of nights in hospital. It feels like an all or nothing moment and I am not sure how I feel about that. I need some time to process how this is going to be handled. Right now I am just trying to keep my current symptoms under control and trying to figure out the best way to look after myself. At the moment I am tired and therefore not in the best place to make decisions so its time to contain my anxieties and give myself time to reflect.
