Bank holiday Monday and wake late to sunshine again, it won’t last. I’m still feeling sore from my Friday injection. I do my vitals and get up to breakfast with no plan for the day so I putter for a bit, emptying Daisy Dishwasher and fitting a new wiper blade on my partners car before deciding to accompany her to the gym, she to train and me to read somewhere different. On the way we tend to my partners tyres before entering the club and me settling down with phone, journal and book to read. I write my weekly check list and find I have a week that includes another COVID booster jab, a double visit to the dentist and one to the chiropodist. So much fun going on here.

I have an Americano but cannot really face it so I set to buy a spare set of wiper blades for my partners car and some other odds and ends. Before I can settle to read I am impelled to try and write the half form poem I woke up with this morning. Here it is in its crude form.

396

I wake up,
there is sunshine, 
that will do me. 
Recently I am tired
weighted down by the emotional noise.
Where is the good news?
I feel tricked,
every story is doom 
even the upbeat.
The supposed to be uplifting 
aren’t.
Young people raising money,
“I did it for my dad”
Dead of cancer.
“I’ve raised millions,
to raise awareness”
My son stabbed to death.
A trillion miles run 
for the four horsemen
of the modern apocalypse.
I don’t watch anymore
like a magician giving up 
watching card tricks,
spin and mirrors.
Cicero was right,
all I need is my garden
and my library.
Nature is red enough 
In tooth and claw
without BBC news,
Fox news, ITV 
or GB racist, nationalist
shit.
Everybody’s being kind
in the face of pain,
so, when did we stop
being kind for kindness’s sake? 
Its all too noisy this
loud, proclaiming good.
I crave a quiet pool
where I can sit
and be silently kind
to the ones I love 
for life’s sake.

An after thought:
Don’t get me wrong,
helping those in pain 
is good,
but why do we have 
to wait till then?
Can we be kind to the kind
or do we ration it 
to birthdays and Christmas
because that’s the rule. 
I ask myself;
When was I kind just because I could?
									396  27-05-2024

I read for a while until my partner returns from the gym floor. We drive to our favourite garden centre café for a bite to eat and drink. We sit and chat and catch up on where we are and what our week looks like before returning home. I start to draft the blog. This is ordinary life and mundane, I just wish my gut would stop hurting and I felt less listless. Before long the evening comes around and the evening meal. By now I’m feeling decidedly “off” so I settle down with the family and binge watch series three of Bridgeton. Its a bizarre series but strangely compelling. My family goes to bed and I draft the blog before taking my night meds and retire for the night.