Tuesday and I am making the effort to draft the blog earlier in the day to avoid the tired and truncated blogs of the last few days. It must look like I am quitting or cannot be bothered but the truth is that by the end of the evening I am generally knackered and that is not the best time to write a blog. So today I am trying to pace myself and to be kind to myself for tomorrow could be a spoon heavy day. Tomorrow I go for my Easter 28 day injection early morning and then hot foot it to the hospital for my Urology appointment to have my bladder stone assessed. It will be a preliminary session where the doctor will go over my reports and ask me how I am and all the usual diagnostic hocus pocus. I am hoping he has read the now infamous scan report from 2023 that initially found the stone, reported it and had the “onco boys and girls” ignore it and tell me that my Haematuria (blood in the piss) was related to my cancer rather than the possibility it is related to a football sized stone in my bladder. So I expect them to discus options with me about ways forward. I know where this is going, basically it will be some sort of contraption down my penis and a smashing time, leaving me to piss out the bits. It does not sound a recipe for joy but if it means no more Haematuria and I can get back to being able to go for walks and training then it will be worth it. I only hope they do it under anaesthetic, I’ve had enough knob handling to last me a life time.

Any way this bright and sunny Tuesday I do not get up till late morning having indulged in watching a prolonged YouTube of Mock the Weeks, Unlikely Things to Hear at…. It makes me smile and laugh and relaxes me. I am in awe of how quick and witty the participants area and envy them this. I guess that is why they are stand up comics. My vitals get done and of course they are normal. Once up, I clear the kitchen and make myself a late breakfast and read the letter from a friend that has arrived in the post. It is a never ending source of pleasure to find a letter in the porch. It is ironic that only yesterday did I post a letter to her. So here I am drafting the blog in a more chipper state than the last few days. It feels like it could be a good day and I may try and prod the Americans about my next collection. It is also good because my son starts a new job in Sweden at the Stockholm Opera House. So this is a good day so far and one I need before tomorrows rigours. I must not get ahead of myself. A pleasant afternoon in the Shed will do right now.

Before I can get to the Shed a new book from a friend arrives, which I open eagerly. It is a new author to me so I am excited. It is a book of short stories about one man, so I am looking forward to reading it.

I make it to the Shed and settle in to write a letter. It is a while since I was here and it feels good to be back at my table top writing to a friend. My candles are lit, my wax cauldron melting nicely and the garden sounds surround me. I write and seal my letter and then close up the Shed as I return to the house. There is a gentle walk over to the post office to send my letter on its way and while there I pick up a paper. Once home there are things to do like running off the new waste collection time table for the coming year and paying the fee for the garden waste to be collected. I put the bin out and then read some of the short stories in the newly arrived book. What came next was a real blow, on going to the toilet I find my haematuria is back and there is blood. Instantly I start to drink a lot of water. Tea follows and I return to the blog. It was all going so well and now there is this step back. It doesn’t look like tomorrow is going to be easy. I feel grim and withdraw back into myself, so its back to the fight and the grind. Tonight will be meds, pain killers and bed. What started well is ending not so good, bugger.