Wednesday, it raining, I wake to rain that is denuding the cherry blossom trees. I tentatively make my first visit to the bathroom and mange without pain. I go back to bed and prepare to do my vitas and go through my getting up rituals. My partner comes in getting ready to go to the gym. We have a long time talking about how difficult it is for us at the moment, it is upsetting, our situation feels never ending and ever more demanding on my partner. These times are difficult to face knowing there is no magic wand, all we can do is be as kind as possible with each other and to ourselves. My partner goes to the gym and I do my vitals, which are of course good. My mantra of the logic is in the arithmetic is becoming more ironic as time goes on. My vitals continue to be very good but my painful experience over the last few days belie that.

Once up and dressed I make breakfast and check my emails. There I find the next cover for my next poetry collection. I really like it so here is a sneak preview.

I notice that the Magnolia tree in the back garden is coming into full bloom, just as the cherry trees in the front garden lose their blossom. It is one of the things I like about the garden in that it rewards me for all the work that has gone into it over the years. It is almost as if now I am restricted in what I can do it is paying me back by looking after itself a bit and giving me gifts back.

I settle in to my sofa office and open post and send birthday flowers to me daughter in law in Sweden and a birthday message before making an early start on the blog. I know it probably feels as if the blog of late has been filed with mundane stuff but it is a way of reminding myself that I do get somethings done despite my condition and recent challenges. Having drafted for a while I hunker down and read.

Its no good I have to go out, just a short walk to the village shop to buy bread, paper, sweets, buns and more sensible things like pasta and garlic bread. Once home I feel knackered again and settle back down to do the crosswords. I get through them quickly without reference to Google, Go me!. My partner returns from the gym and we sit together in quiet as I read to the end of The Travelling Cat Chronicles. It is not until the end that it is revealed that the main human character is dying of cancer and ultimately dies with his cat in attendance. My feelings are left taut and I am not sure what to make of it apart from it is very Japanese. I still feel my bladder is not playing well, a mild discomfort so I take a co-codamol to get some respite. I return to update the blog beginning to feel the effects of the co-codamol and jelly babies I’ve eaten, I can’t resist a sugar blast at times. So I slide into the evening. I’ve no idea where it is going beyond night meds and bed, but I think that’s the pain relief talking as it kicks in. Tomorrow my partner has a friend coming over so they can go out for a while and a meal.