Thursday I wake with a slightly off colour gut, the outcome of yesterdays very lovely meal and a brandy. However I have time to run through my cyber routines and to check my vitals (all good), and, as I have my laptop at hand from last night’s streaming in bed, I check my email that contains my first mock ups of my book cover. These are exciting times but I am approaching them with some anxiety as I am a novice at all this. I’m never quite sure if this is how it is supposed to be or I am being rooked in some way.

I down load the mock ups and consider them and try to come to a decision. In the end I select one but decide for the sub tittle of the collection to be included on the front cover. I email the team with my observations and requests. I include my mock ups below for interest but am not sure what the actual end product is going to look like.

My preference is for Mock up 1 with some minor additions. As I say seeing these has made me feel quite weird at the thought the poetry project is actually happen after all these years. I am itchy now to see this through so I can get on with my further collections.

I eventually get up and make my breakfast and settle down to plan the day and see what I wanted to do. I had not been doing this for long when I am surprised by the postman bearing a parcel for me. He explains I have to sign for it as its a special delivery. Taking the shoe boxed size parcel from him I am taken aback by the weight of it. This parcel is well taped and it takes time to get through the gaffer tape and find the contents. On opening the box he content is revealed, it is the complete set of the first Penguin Modern Poets series, all 27 volumes. I am truly surprised that it has arrived so quickly and very happy to have them. These volumes were big in my life between when I was a late teenager through my early twenties. I eagerly look at them and note the familiar names and those that I had forgotten or never known.

By lunchtime I have finished watching The Book of Boba Fett and over lunch I find myself watching the COVID enquiry in Scotland. The Scottish first minister is on the spot and is actually doing quite well, even explaining how he was able to suddenly find old WhatsApp messages. What is clear is that politicians have more phones than fingers. It also becomes clear that decision making at times is dependant on which side the coin comes down when public compliance is at stake. Especially when your country gets into a football tournament for the first time in twenty years.

The evening hoves into view as my partner finishes work and prepares for her singing lesson this evening. I settle down to read my new old poetry books and watch some TV before an early night again. Out of the blue the final draft of the book arrives and I set about going through it for one last time. I am content and email the team to tell them. I have rested today although I’ve not got out, that will change tomorrow when I have to be at the GP at 9am for a blood test. Tomorrow is one of those blood Fridays where I give blood in the morning and then occupy myself all day until midnight when my results come through. They are anxious days when new arithmetic becomes available upon which my well being strongly depends on. My last few days seem to have been more normal but underlying my days my fear of my cancer spreading continues to invade my being and make me hypervigilant, especially about the state of my gut and bladder. For now its drink a lot of water and then my night time chemo meds and bed. Before I can do this I get a call from the team in America and spend ages sorting out an Amazon KPD account that will enable me to publish on Amazon. The guy at the other end says he has set me up an account and we agree a password, there is lots of numbers and shit that goes on, I almost pull out, but I finish the call. According to the guy by four o’clock tomorrow my book should be available on the Amazon platform. I’m not sure what 4 o’clock it is, ours or Americas. I just have to sit tight and contain my anxieties for twenty four hours or so. Finally I down my meds and go to bed.