Friday and I wake up after a disturbed night. My partner is in the office talking to work colleagues and I can’t be arsed to get up yet. I open my phone and find loads of messages from friends telling me that they are thinking of me and wishing me the best. It prompts me to get up and reminds me I have a fight on my hands. So breakfast and more coffee get consumed and then its meds time. I hesitate but in the end take them as its the night cancer ones that are not working. I start my oncologist stalking. I ring the cancer nurses and leave a message in clear terms about what I want and make it clear I’m not waiting till bloody September to be seen again. There is no one there of course but I leave the message. Then I find some re-directed post that needs attention, so I draft a note to the solicitor and wander over to the post office to send it off.
Its lunchtime and my partner goes to see her physio so I go to the village shop to get a paper and then drop into the village café for a bacon and egg roll. Whilst devouring these these goodies I settle down to do the crosswords. My brain is obviously still functioning as I whip through them quite quickly, but then they are easy. As I sit back in the warm glow of success the cancer nurse rings me. To my pleasure she has already put the letter from yesterdays session in front of my consultant who has responded that he will remain in charge of my case and will see me at his Tuesday clinic. However it will be one to three weeks before he can see me. This is about as urgent as this guy (that’s a pun) can manage. So I will wait with baited breathe till Monday and then ring the appointment line. I walk home and moot going to the gym but I really do not want to. I do not fancy public spaces at the moment so I wonder what I can do to fill my time. In a stroke of reckless abandon I research car insurance quotes given that my current insurer thinks they are going to automatically renew my insurance for a cost that would not give me much change out of seven hundred quid. I try Direct Line who give me a quote of in excess of £700. I decide to give the Meerkats a go, why not? So I put in my details and up comes 129 quotes. Some of them are so cheap I cannot help thinking they must be shit but the Tesco Bank on catches my eye. I click on it and they recognise me as being a Tesco Club Card person and immediately offer me a discount. I go through the process, get my partner to check I’m not being a total arse and end up buying their policy, thus saving me over £267. Go me, and with RAC roadside assist as part of it the RAC can go whistle at renewal time. So for a few moment life is sweet again.
In preparation for the tomb raiding expedition tomorrow, i.e. the trip to the London House of my dead sister, I whisk my partner off to the garage to check the tyres and fill the tank, before returning to an evening of food, rugby, Bridgeton and Have I Got News for You. It will be an early night as the plan is to leave early in the morning for London. Despite my semblance of normality today I still feel numbed and driven back inside myself. I have to keep reminding myself that I have to deal with what is and not what I think it might become. Its not personal its just Nature.
