Its Monday again and I wake up feeling decidedly shit. Difficult to say why but I felt knackered before the day even started. I felt so grim I could not be bothered to read before I got up. When I did I head straight for the muesli and coffee. I find I am losing my taste for coffee, at least the tinned brand we are using, I might go back to the luxury of filtered coffee, I’m not sure why I left it, now that I think about it. Before my morning gets into the full swing that’s it going to a friend calls to see how I am. Really good to hear a friendly voice and we are soon chatting about our respective juggles. I am reminded that Easter is not far away and note that it might have slipped by without this conversation. We exchange well wishes as I intend to head for the Shed to try and write the words I am going to say at my sisters funeral on Friday.

I do not make it to the Shed as I have several emails and calls from the undertaker. I find myself proof reading an Order of Service, swapping pictures around, and sending new or duplicate pictures to someone new because they cannot use my PowerPoint presentation as its not “their format”. Its all part of the fannying, farting and fucking about that seems to attend any project or organised event. By the time there is time to breathe its lunch time and the kitchen needs to be cleared, cleaned and organised. Bins get emptied and things made spick and spam and then I indulge in chicken soup.

My afternoon starts with me trying to book my 28 day injection with the GP. I remained being asked to hold for 14 minutes, which seemed like and eternity. I finally got through and agreed a time. I then order my monthly drug prescription. So easy to forget I have to manage my meds at times like these. With this out of the way its time to clear the clothes horse and put my clothes away. A moment to breathe I organise a bit and buy tickets for Fascinating Aida in November. I escape to the garden and fill the bird and squirrel feeders and whilst doing so note that the Peonies are coming through. This is a time of celebration as Spring is truly on the way when the Peonies start to grow, and they grow quickly from small red nodules to sturdy stems in a vey short time.

I finally get to the Shed and stare out over the garden looking for words. It occurs to me that the Japanese have a character for “beyond words”, it is Yugen. I start to write Yugen and end up with a few draft words for my sisters funeral. They will need work but it will get there. Returning to the house I am aware of how time has gone and I have not trained and Tesco are going to deliver. Added to that the Celebrant is going to ring me tonight about the funeral so there is still a lot of admin left in the day to do. I plump for training. It is a real effort to get my kit on, I really do not want to do this but I fall back on one of my reminders “Cancer does not take a day off”. I go to the garage and set up the rower for a half hour session at my standard hard level. I strap in and get going with radio 2 in my ears. It may only be a half hour session but it is hard work and I feel that I am not on track. In the end I get my 6 kilometres and a 1000+ strokes. Not quite the calories I wanted but it will do.

Back on the sofa I record the session and slow go and get changed in to loungers. My partner and I wait for the Tesco delivery that duly arrives. Time for pasta and then I start to draft today blog. I’m still waiting for the Celebrant to ring me, but I assume he will and then I can get on with the rest of the evening. It will be filled with a TV show and reading before I take my meds and head for bed. Hopefully I will l have tomorrow to finish my writing and to train.