CYCLE 3 DAY 18

Well the rugby world cup is over, another valiant fail by England against South Africa. Now we wait another four years before we can put ourselves through it all again in the USA. The bacon sandwiches were good and there were moments of joy. I suppose its for the best with a general election coming up and Brexit, or not, the nation would not quite know how to celebrate something actually achieved, or not. Winning is too black and white for an opinionated nation that has plunged itself into ambiguity and the perpetual grey area. I of course watched the match on TV. As I say the bacon sandwiches were good.

Once the game was over I dashed in the rain to the chemist to get my drug supply and a paper. I refilled my drugs wallet, remembering to put my block doses of steroids into the right days of next week as Cycle 4 starts on Tuesday. My partner and I drove to the garden centre to get some of the butchers best beef burgers for tomorrows family thrash only to find they did not do them. Bit of a blow that but we had a plan B. Sainsburys, always a good plan B. So we drove to Sainsburys and loaded up with burgers, booze and bits to nibble. What we haven’t got now we will have to do without. Having crammed the fridge full of dead flesh and bags of chips we got ready to go and watch Leicester Tigers.

We almost did not bother given the weather and the time but we made the effort. The journey was terrible, for some reason the traffic was appalling, so much so we diverted and at one point tried to park in the hospital car park, but the queue was so long we would have missed the match. In desperation we parked in the Tigers car park for a tenner! Tigers actually won with almost the last kick of the game. The crowd around us were in there usual good humour and were a little stunned when it turned into a win.

We drove home and prepared dinner and settled to watch Strictly. There is a limit to how much dross I can watch on TV so for me its blog time followed by reading and bed. Tomorrow is open house day for the family so it will be up early to prepare the house and get the food sorted. No doubt there will be a dash to the shop for some last minute delicacy or more booze. I suspect there will be lots of selfies and family activities. The usual kind of revelry when families get together.

I have found the the last couple of days difficult and my “Dark and Tricky stuff”, those bits of me that feed my anxieties and paranioa, have been rolling around inside me and making me feel tired as I try to keep to being a reasonable, rational adult. There is much going on at the moment and I need to keep my direction as I head towards cycle 4 of chemo. I suspect its the accumulative effect of the chemotherapy and the real world trials and tribulations of those around me at the moment. It’s just one of those times when all I can do is stay focussed and keep doing the right things. A friend of mine deals with the “Dark and Tricky by blowing a raspberry at it, so here goes…