Wednesday and it feels as if this is the start of my year as the Christmas decorations have gone and the other household members have gone back to work. So they are awake and closeted in their work spaces around the house and I can hear the conversations as the screens show meetings going on and documents being worked on. I have breakfast and coffee followed by my morning meds. I order my monthly meds after checking my calendar. After a bit of clearing up I go off to the Shed to write letters.
By lunchtime I’ve completed a single letter, which reflects my sluggishness and the effects of the cold that I am finding it difficult to shake off. Chicken soup is the obvious choice when I have a cold, so I settle down to a warm dish and the lunch time news. I continue my letter writing through the afternoon interspersed with playing Tim Minchin songs. Eventually I have to pause my writing to welcome the Tesco deliver and get it squirreled away. As I am putting things away I notice that there are two squirrels in the garden. I watch them and do not move until I have seen both of them lift the lid on the squirrel feeder and successful access the food. I return to the letter writing but whilst checking my social media I noticed a post from a colleague from the Therapeutic Community community. He had reposted a very powerful performance from someone I had not heard of. It certainly gripped my attention and hopefully I can find it to add to the end of the blog so that you can see what you think of it. I continue to write letters until my partner returns from visiting her mother. Just before 5 o’clock I leg it to the post box outside the chippy and post office and breathe a sigh of relief when I find that it had not yet been emptied. Later I am to return to the chippy with my partner to collect our fish adn chip tea.
My evening starts with the drafting of the blog against the background of news, which includes exploding candles. At last my bank has caught up with my standing orders and my monthly movements of money have finally arrived where they should, which is a relief. Although I had forgotten that I had booked a holiday in June/July and also forgotten when it needs to be paid for. I finally find the right app on my phone and find I can stay cool until the end of April. So I set out into the evening with the intention of ending up at the football highlights before doing my meds and getting to bed. I have promised myself to try and get up early tomorrow morning as I feel I am slipping into the habit of not getting up before 9 o’clock. I’m constantly aware that I am not “Rocketing” as I wanted to and my oncology review is edging nearer. Its the feeling of not being in control or at least not doing what I can do to make it as good as it can be. A friend reminded me that my screen saver at work was “Under no circumstances buckle”, I do not think or intend to buckle but I feel I might have bent a bit. Still its the heat of the forge that straightens the steel.
