Thursday and I wake up in a strange bed in the hotel. Eric Sarte plays as my alarm. I check my social media and give myself a mental once over to see how I am. So far so good. It’s time to shower and then go and eat breakfast, always a bit of an adventure in a hotel. At least this time I do not have to go far as my room is on the ground floor. Perhaps they saw my age and took pity on me or they just squeezed me in where they could as it appears from the fullness of the car park that they busy. So, another day starts with me drafting the start of today’s blog whilst still in bed.

I go to breakfast and load up on protein. The morning passes as I get ready to meet my mentor. I set out and I am soon eating a sandwich with my mentor and a colleague of hers. Post sandwich we move, and I am soon settled on my mentor’s settee talking through the issues on my mind. We talk and drink coffee with a quick break for some business. In what felt like a blink of an eye it is dark and I am in the car driving back to the hotel. Of all the things from my old professional life, keeping up the practice of seeing a mentor is the best thing I do. It is invaluable to me to be able to check out my perceptions and to explore options. I may not be a practicing clinician anymore, but I have a life to run and a battle to fight. My partner rings and we chat through our days. As she goes off to prepare for her singing lesson, I catch up on the blog and then go to the hotel restaurant to feed myself. The restaurant no longer does steak except ribeye, so I have the curry followed by ice cream and coffee. This will have to be paid for in training before Sunday’s weigh in. I return to my room having scribbled some thoughts and settle down for the night. It will be night meds and sleep. Coming to York and talking to friends and my mentor makes me realise how much they are dealing with in their own life’s and how, when it comes down to it, I am blessed in many ways. Being existential in outlook and valuing the here and now I am fortunate that I can appreciate how life is from moment to moment. This is it, or as a friend of mine labels her WhatsApp “This is not a rehearsal”.